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General Parenting
Everyone "Stop" and take a minute
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 94563" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I do think kids feed into the messages received. If all that is offered are consequences for "bad" behavior, there's not much reason to do good. Sooner or later everyone does something wrong and kids do wrong more often than adults. If the message they are getting is that they are bad and then bad things happen, there's no reason to be good.</p><p></p><p>It took me a few years to figure that out. When I did, I changed strategies and quit giving consequences except for major issues. Instead, I let natural consequences take care of as much as possible. I set out a jar and whenever I saw my daughter doing something good, I put a dollar in it. We would decide what treat we were saving up for -- ice cream, movie, amusement park, whatever. When enough was there, it would be spent. We even saved enough for a trip to Disneyland (she would count it weekly and when there was enough, you should have heard the yell). It didn't make for a perfect child, but it did make for a child who was better behaved at least 40% of the time. More importantly, it made for a happier child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 94563, member: 3626"] I do think kids feed into the messages received. If all that is offered are consequences for "bad" behavior, there's not much reason to do good. Sooner or later everyone does something wrong and kids do wrong more often than adults. If the message they are getting is that they are bad and then bad things happen, there's no reason to be good. It took me a few years to figure that out. When I did, I changed strategies and quit giving consequences except for major issues. Instead, I let natural consequences take care of as much as possible. I set out a jar and whenever I saw my daughter doing something good, I put a dollar in it. We would decide what treat we were saving up for -- ice cream, movie, amusement park, whatever. When enough was there, it would be spent. We even saved enough for a trip to Disneyland (she would count it weekly and when there was enough, you should have heard the yell). It didn't make for a perfect child, but it did make for a child who was better behaved at least 40% of the time. More importantly, it made for a happier child. [/QUOTE]
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Everyone "Stop" and take a minute
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