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General Parenting
Everyone "Stop" and take a minute
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 94566" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Wow, Beth. We've never had anything that sudden or obvious.</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child has always been negative. Loud and angry and negative. Even as a baby. </p><p>Yes, we are aware of how the negativity can be fueled by "our" consequences ... but he is learning that it's his behavior, not ours, that causes problems. </p><p>We do tell him when he's doing well. We reward him. Of course, he loves it. But ...</p><p>The first few times I told our difficult child "Good boy!" he got mad and slammed the door. I finally got fed up with-his attitude and told him I wasn't going to say nice things to him any more. His response was, "You're just being sarcastic. I don't believe anything you say."</p><p>I told him that I truly meant it when I said he was good. Then each time I told him thereafter, I paused and said, "That was not sarcasm. I meant it." I tried to keep my voice mild but I wanted it to be firm, too. IOW, this is a new rule.</p><p>The next time I was sarcastic, to something on the radio, I told him, "I was being sarcastic. And it wasn't directed at you. I was talking to the radio."</p><p>I wasn't sure if everything was so literal because he was an aspie, (the neuropsychologist said no) or if he was just generally negative, but at any rate, it is much better now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 94566, member: 3419"] Wow, Beth. We've never had anything that sudden or obvious. Our difficult child has always been negative. Loud and angry and negative. Even as a baby. Yes, we are aware of how the negativity can be fueled by "our" consequences ... but he is learning that it's his behavior, not ours, that causes problems. We do tell him when he's doing well. We reward him. Of course, he loves it. But ... The first few times I told our difficult child "Good boy!" he got mad and slammed the door. I finally got fed up with-his attitude and told him I wasn't going to say nice things to him any more. His response was, "You're just being sarcastic. I don't believe anything you say." I told him that I truly meant it when I said he was good. Then each time I told him thereafter, I paused and said, "That was not sarcasm. I meant it." I tried to keep my voice mild but I wanted it to be firm, too. IOW, this is a new rule. The next time I was sarcastic, to something on the radio, I told him, "I was being sarcastic. And it wasn't directed at you. I was talking to the radio." I wasn't sure if everything was so literal because he was an aspie, (the neuropsychologist said no) or if he was just generally negative, but at any rate, it is much better now. [/QUOTE]
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