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Evicting an Adult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 747483" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm sorry Exhasutedat22.....so sorry you find yourself struggling with your son's inability to launch into adulthood.</p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post.</p><p>If you haven't already, you may want to contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Here is the website:</p><p><a href="https://www.nami.org/Find-Support" target="_blank">Find Support | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness</a></p><p>NAMI has excellent groups for parents. They may be able to offer you resources, support, options and information for you and perhaps for your son as well.</p><p>You can also call the Nationwide help line at 211 which offers support for those in need.</p><p>Most of us here seek professional support to learn how to walk this terrain. If you're interested in finding a therapist in your area you can contact goodtherapy.org or the psychology today website.</p><p>I found it helpful to attend CoDa 12 step groups to learn how to let go and accept what I have no control over.</p><p>A good book is Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie.</p><p>Here's another resource which may offer support for your son: <a href="http://www.delanceystreetfoundation.org/wwa.php" target="_blank">Delancey Street Foundation - About Us - Who We Are</a></p><p></p><p>I've been through similar issues with my adult daughter. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done.....but it is doable. After a long time of setting stringent boundaries with my daughter, she is finding her own way now. I needed a "village" to get through it. My best advice to you is to get as much support as you can for YOURSELF. I attended a 2 year course at my HMO which focused on codependency and offered weekly parent groups..... I had weekly therapy, attended 12 step groups, wrote on this forum daily, read every book I could on related subjects.....I was determined to NOT go down the rabbit hole with my daughter and to somehow find my own peace and my own joy, regardless of what my daughter did or did not do.</p><p></p><p>Meditation & prayer helped. Giving my daughter over to my perception of a Higher Power helped. Making sure I got out in nature daily, that I slept well and ate healthily, all helped. Self care is absolutely necessary. Being kind and compassionate with yourself is extremely helpful. After we've been at this for a long time, many of us forget how to take care of ourselves.....put your self care as the priority. Find safe places you can go to get the support YOU need now. Nurture yourself.</p><p></p><p>You matter too. Your needs and desires matter. Keep posting, it helps to tell our story and receive support. I'm glad you're here. You're not alone.....we understand, we've been there too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 747483, member: 13542"] I'm sorry Exhasutedat22.....so sorry you find yourself struggling with your son's inability to launch into adulthood. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. If you haven't already, you may want to contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Here is the website: [URL='https://www.nami.org/Find-Support']Find Support | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness[/URL] NAMI has excellent groups for parents. They may be able to offer you resources, support, options and information for you and perhaps for your son as well. You can also call the Nationwide help line at 211 which offers support for those in need. Most of us here seek professional support to learn how to walk this terrain. If you're interested in finding a therapist in your area you can contact goodtherapy.org or the psychology today website. I found it helpful to attend CoDa 12 step groups to learn how to let go and accept what I have no control over. A good book is Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Here's another resource which may offer support for your son: [URL='http://www.delanceystreetfoundation.org/wwa.php']Delancey Street Foundation - About Us - Who We Are[/URL] I've been through similar issues with my adult daughter. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done.....but it is doable. After a long time of setting stringent boundaries with my daughter, she is finding her own way now. I needed a "village" to get through it. My best advice to you is to get as much support as you can for YOURSELF. I attended a 2 year course at my HMO which focused on codependency and offered weekly parent groups..... I had weekly therapy, attended 12 step groups, wrote on this forum daily, read every book I could on related subjects.....I was determined to NOT go down the rabbit hole with my daughter and to somehow find my own peace and my own joy, regardless of what my daughter did or did not do. Meditation & prayer helped. Giving my daughter over to my perception of a Higher Power helped. Making sure I got out in nature daily, that I slept well and ate healthily, all helped. Self care is absolutely necessary. Being kind and compassionate with yourself is extremely helpful. After we've been at this for a long time, many of us forget how to take care of ourselves.....put your self care as the priority. Find safe places you can go to get the support YOU need now. Nurture yourself. You matter too. Your needs and desires matter. Keep posting, it helps to tell our story and receive support. I'm glad you're here. You're not alone.....we understand, we've been there too. [/QUOTE]
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