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Ex has bug up hiss rear now
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 520298" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs))))) Things like this tend to be emotionally draining, esp when your child is clearly hurt by hs stupidity and lack of basic human decency.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you CAN let him off the hook as far as terminating his rights. The courts are determined to not let one parent out of the responsibility pool because society is supposed to be a lifguard, NOt someone to swim for you. This is esp true if you get any help like kids' insurance, foodstamps, etc... The courts feel is it important to have TWO adults who can provide revenue to support the child, and I don't disagree with this - to a point. The ONLY reason my exsil was able to marry my bro is because bro went and took legal responsibility before the court date. Here in OK a pregnant woman is not able to divorce until the child is born and the child is legally the husband of the preg woman. This is why he is not going to be able to get his rights terminated.</p><p></p><p>As far as the tests, is eh legally entitled to them? Then he can contact the dr to get them, or the lab that did the testing. I doubt that you are required to pass this stuff to him. At least here t doesn't work that way. I don't think he gives a hoot about passing things on. he wants that testing to prove he is not her father. Period. or because he wants in some study where they get paid and must have a relative with something that would show up on the tests. </p><p></p><p>Can you get therapist and school counselor and teacher to talk to kiddo (1 at a tme though!) and get her to talk about bio and how she doesn't want to see him? Can you get them to write a letter saying that kiddo told them whatever about her father and that ti would NOT be good for her to have visits of more than a day? Plus keep a log of EVERYTHING he says and does, and make sure that YOU are calm and civil when interacting about him and that you don'ttrash him if difficult child could possibly hear - even from another room. </p><p></p><p>As for court, maybbe your should push your atty to urge the judge to rule aganst ex and put a warrant otu for him for not going and for not paying his support I would THiNK that not going or telling your atty would mean an instant warrant, but that seems to not be the case. i hope the 4th time is OUT and the judge gives you what you want. Who msses court for their child's custody? Seriously? Well, other than my exsil when she was too tired one day. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/sochildish.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sochildish:" title="sochildish :sochildish:" data-shortname=":sochildish:" /></p><p></p><p>This next is going to get some groans. <span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="color: #ff0000"> (Please don't throw rotten eggs or tomatoes !)</span></span> Is there a way to take a parenting course in the near future? Even if you had one years ago, this will show to the court that you are dedicated to being the best possible parent for difficult child. I know you don't need it, but it will give a concrete thing that someone has proof that you did. Someone who is NOT a relative or friend you yours, that is. If you have documentation of a parenting class then skip this, unless it is more than a couple of years old. Useless as these courses are with difficult children, they are great if a judge is involved because they see it as a sign of you working to become a better parent, and continuing to learn new skills and reinforce old one that are good. Think of a secong parenting course as continuing ed classes.Whatever goes on, you will figure out a way for it to become tolerable,</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 520298, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) Things like this tend to be emotionally draining, esp when your child is clearly hurt by hs stupidity and lack of basic human decency. I don't think you CAN let him off the hook as far as terminating his rights. The courts are determined to not let one parent out of the responsibility pool because society is supposed to be a lifguard, NOt someone to swim for you. This is esp true if you get any help like kids' insurance, foodstamps, etc... The courts feel is it important to have TWO adults who can provide revenue to support the child, and I don't disagree with this - to a point. The ONLY reason my exsil was able to marry my bro is because bro went and took legal responsibility before the court date. Here in OK a pregnant woman is not able to divorce until the child is born and the child is legally the husband of the preg woman. This is why he is not going to be able to get his rights terminated. As far as the tests, is eh legally entitled to them? Then he can contact the dr to get them, or the lab that did the testing. I doubt that you are required to pass this stuff to him. At least here t doesn't work that way. I don't think he gives a hoot about passing things on. he wants that testing to prove he is not her father. Period. or because he wants in some study where they get paid and must have a relative with something that would show up on the tests. Can you get therapist and school counselor and teacher to talk to kiddo (1 at a tme though!) and get her to talk about bio and how she doesn't want to see him? Can you get them to write a letter saying that kiddo told them whatever about her father and that ti would NOT be good for her to have visits of more than a day? Plus keep a log of EVERYTHING he says and does, and make sure that YOU are calm and civil when interacting about him and that you don'ttrash him if difficult child could possibly hear - even from another room. As for court, maybbe your should push your atty to urge the judge to rule aganst ex and put a warrant otu for him for not going and for not paying his support I would THiNK that not going or telling your atty would mean an instant warrant, but that seems to not be the case. i hope the 4th time is OUT and the judge gives you what you want. Who msses court for their child's custody? Seriously? Well, other than my exsil when she was too tired one day. :sochildish: This next is going to get some groans. [SIZE=1][COLOR=#ff0000] (Please don't throw rotten eggs or tomatoes !)[/COLOR][/SIZE] Is there a way to take a parenting course in the near future? Even if you had one years ago, this will show to the court that you are dedicated to being the best possible parent for difficult child. I know you don't need it, but it will give a concrete thing that someone has proof that you did. Someone who is NOT a relative or friend you yours, that is. If you have documentation of a parenting class then skip this, unless it is more than a couple of years old. Useless as these courses are with difficult children, they are great if a judge is involved because they see it as a sign of you working to become a better parent, and continuing to learn new skills and reinforce old one that are good. Think of a secong parenting course as continuing ed classes.Whatever goes on, you will figure out a way for it to become tolerable, [/QUOTE]
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