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Experiences of mediation?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 624771" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Sometimes gossip mill can be useful, because of that it became evident what was going on and I think we were able to turn the tables. We are trying to make kind of coup here.</p><p></p><p>Apparently for some reason the team came to an understanding that we have withdrawn our support/resources from difficult child and also difficult child's Mentor had washed his hands from him at least to some degree. They probably misunderstood difficult child's less than subtle evasiveness and comments how he doesn't believe husband is available to go with him at those dates etc. Anyway, they seem to have thought we had left our whelp alone into the woods for any passing wolf pack to dine from.</p><p></p><p>When friends and acquaintances who heard rumours about that asked, if we have really done so, or had difficult child just 'forgotten' to tell us about things again, our first reaction was to get really hostile and lawyer up to our ears. That of course would not had done much good at all. Especially while this is not difficult child's favourite negotiation, and after all this not mine or husband's either, it is not a direction to burn bridges either. And mediation with this other boy could really be healing experience for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>So we did contact other family and they are with agreement with us about many things; mainly that totally outside of sport or negotiation situations, mediation between difficult child and this other boy could be very beneficial for both of them and their character development and mental well being. So we basically agreed to take it into our own hands and terms. Current plan; it will happen here, where we both families live, it will be two parts, other for what happened and how it effected both of them and other for sport point of view and possibly being in the same team in some point and so on. Other part will be team to arrange how they want, but we will choose experienced outside mediator to first part, boot team representative from attending (but their psychologist can attend if they want) and both parents from both boys will be there (difficult child is okay with husband coming, if I'm there too, he just doesn't want husband to be there alone with him. Apparently he believes I can keep husband getting volatile or attacking him, which I very much doubt husband would do anyway, but I can partly understand difficult child's distrust.) If a team is still interested to go on with their mediation process and have that other meeting, difficult child will try to get a date so that he can ask his Mentor to go with him.</p><p></p><p>difficult child's sport psychiatric has again been great and came up with couple extra appointment slots in hurry before leaving other side of the world for a month to go over the process with difficult child and his wants and wishes for this and how to use the tools they have been working on to be appropriate in the mediation situation and to become heard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 624771, member: 14557"] Sometimes gossip mill can be useful, because of that it became evident what was going on and I think we were able to turn the tables. We are trying to make kind of coup here. Apparently for some reason the team came to an understanding that we have withdrawn our support/resources from difficult child and also difficult child's Mentor had washed his hands from him at least to some degree. They probably misunderstood difficult child's less than subtle evasiveness and comments how he doesn't believe husband is available to go with him at those dates etc. Anyway, they seem to have thought we had left our whelp alone into the woods for any passing wolf pack to dine from. When friends and acquaintances who heard rumours about that asked, if we have really done so, or had difficult child just 'forgotten' to tell us about things again, our first reaction was to get really hostile and lawyer up to our ears. That of course would not had done much good at all. Especially while this is not difficult child's favourite negotiation, and after all this not mine or husband's either, it is not a direction to burn bridges either. And mediation with this other boy could really be healing experience for difficult child. So we did contact other family and they are with agreement with us about many things; mainly that totally outside of sport or negotiation situations, mediation between difficult child and this other boy could be very beneficial for both of them and their character development and mental well being. So we basically agreed to take it into our own hands and terms. Current plan; it will happen here, where we both families live, it will be two parts, other for what happened and how it effected both of them and other for sport point of view and possibly being in the same team in some point and so on. Other part will be team to arrange how they want, but we will choose experienced outside mediator to first part, boot team representative from attending (but their psychologist can attend if they want) and both parents from both boys will be there (difficult child is okay with husband coming, if I'm there too, he just doesn't want husband to be there alone with him. Apparently he believes I can keep husband getting volatile or attacking him, which I very much doubt husband would do anyway, but I can partly understand difficult child's distrust.) If a team is still interested to go on with their mediation process and have that other meeting, difficult child will try to get a date so that he can ask his Mentor to go with him. difficult child's sport psychiatric has again been great and came up with couple extra appointment slots in hurry before leaving other side of the world for a month to go over the process with difficult child and his wants and wishes for this and how to use the tools they have been working on to be appropriate in the mediation situation and to become heard. [/QUOTE]
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