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extraneous relative issues
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 715304" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Susie, for years I blamed myself for any failed relationships. Now I just pretty much tell myself "sometimes two people cant get along, even if neither are horrid." I dont know why I ever made it a bigger deal than that. That is all every relationship is...even mother/daughter.</p><p></p><p>Its okay to decide who is good for oneself and to move on.</p><p></p><p>The last and final time I tried it with Sis, I really thought we would both try so hard that it would work. And for a while, especially when I was trying to be a good support, it was. But as soon as I was no longer on board with her decision (going back to abuser of six years) and deciding not to listen about this anymore the semi silence and nasty texts started. Now for all I know, she did this for other reasons. I dont know. And I dont care. The only important fact is that for whatever the reason, we have a lifetime of Sis not liking me and cutting me off (i feel to be controlling... maybe I am wrong (shrug)).She even called the police on me at least ten times for reasons that were insane...an email she didnt like etc. I knew personally one of the cops she called. He found her complaints crazy and stopped telling me when she made a complaint unless we saw one another socially. Then he rolled his eyes about her call.</p><p></p><p>My husband was always nice to her because he is a nice man. But he always disliked her. The cops, which scared our young kids, really bothered him. Yet she would text him instead of me sometimes when she was angry at me. He hated that. Didnt always tell me either.</p><p></p><p>So finally I am done. So is hub. We both blocked her from our phones and I stopped checking to see if she is lying and telling people on some forum I am bordetline. I dont care what she does. Or writes.</p><p></p><p>"What you think of me is none of my business."</p><p></p><p>After a lifetime ofl longing, it is over and she has no way of trying to sneak back. Ways of communication are cut off to her. No contact. I am done. In the past, I felt bad and missed her. I dont. I wonder why I ever longed for her approval.</p><p></p><p>I will see my sis and sweet kind brother once more...at a sad event...the death of my father, when it happens. And then it will be 100% over. A lifetime of my sister hurting me, calling the cops, causing guilt...that will be over for good. I will be kind and stoic there and grieve... with my husband for support. No questions answered. Like strangers.</p><p></p><p>We will drive up for the sad event then drive right back. Although I love both my brother and sister, I can live without my DNA family. And I will.</p><p></p><p>That will be the last day.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the up/down games and drama need to end, even.if you love people. I do love her and pray for her.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for the long vent.</p><p></p><p>Be free of those who pull you down. Let go and let God.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 715304, member: 1550"] Susie, for years I blamed myself for any failed relationships. Now I just pretty much tell myself "sometimes two people cant get along, even if neither are horrid." I dont know why I ever made it a bigger deal than that. That is all every relationship is...even mother/daughter. Its okay to decide who is good for oneself and to move on. The last and final time I tried it with Sis, I really thought we would both try so hard that it would work. And for a while, especially when I was trying to be a good support, it was. But as soon as I was no longer on board with her decision (going back to abuser of six years) and deciding not to listen about this anymore the semi silence and nasty texts started. Now for all I know, she did this for other reasons. I dont know. And I dont care. The only important fact is that for whatever the reason, we have a lifetime of Sis not liking me and cutting me off (i feel to be controlling... maybe I am wrong (shrug)).She even called the police on me at least ten times for reasons that were insane...an email she didnt like etc. I knew personally one of the cops she called. He found her complaints crazy and stopped telling me when she made a complaint unless we saw one another socially. Then he rolled his eyes about her call. My husband was always nice to her because he is a nice man. But he always disliked her. The cops, which scared our young kids, really bothered him. Yet she would text him instead of me sometimes when she was angry at me. He hated that. Didnt always tell me either. So finally I am done. So is hub. We both blocked her from our phones and I stopped checking to see if she is lying and telling people on some forum I am bordetline. I dont care what she does. Or writes. "What you think of me is none of my business." After a lifetime ofl longing, it is over and she has no way of trying to sneak back. Ways of communication are cut off to her. No contact. I am done. In the past, I felt bad and missed her. I dont. I wonder why I ever longed for her approval. I will see my sis and sweet kind brother once more...at a sad event...the death of my father, when it happens. And then it will be 100% over. A lifetime of my sister hurting me, calling the cops, causing guilt...that will be over for good. I will be kind and stoic there and grieve... with my husband for support. No questions answered. Like strangers. We will drive up for the sad event then drive right back. Although I love both my brother and sister, I can live without my DNA family. And I will. That will be the last day. Sometimes the up/down games and drama need to end, even.if you love people. I do love her and pray for her. Sorry for the long vent. Be free of those who pull you down. Let go and let God. [/QUOTE]
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