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Extreme anxiety about school starting
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<blockquote data-quote="hamlet" data-source="post: 454242" data-attributes="member: 11970"><p>InsaneCdn, what I mean by the cognitive distortion comment is that difficult child takes the real problem of bullying or teasing and projects it into all areas of his life, his personality, physique, his self-image. in my opinion that is his illness and lack of self esteem talking. What I need the school to understand is that not only is the bullying and teasing wrong and it should not be tolerated, they also need to take extra steps to ensure that difficult child is respected and believed by the adults.</p><p></p><p>When a conflict between students arises I think that the adults say, "Here's a kid with known emotional/behavioral problems. It must be (at least partially) his fault." Instead what they should say is, "Here's a kid with known emotional/behavioral problems. Let's be sensitive to his increased vulnerability to bullying/teasing and make sure that the matter is solved in a constructive way so that it doesn't increase his problems." </p><p></p><p>Of course that would require the adult to set his/her personal agenda aside.</p><p></p><p>ready2run, I know that parents tolerate and even encourage bullying and teasing in their children. Bigotry is a learned behavior, beit racisim, economic priviledge and bullying, or just pure selfishness, intolerance and entitlement. Teachers and child care workers practically beg parents to take a stand against unacceptable behavior at school. My children get double consequences for misbehavior - at school AND at home. It boggles my mind that a when a parent is contacted due to their child bullying another they will defend and make excuses for their child. One parent said that difficult child must be complaining about her daughter teasing him and calling him names because he secretly "likes" her, (as in a crush.) Uh, no, difficult child does not like this girl. She is mean, and not just to him. </p><p></p><p>The teacher and the school accepted this rationale, which I found to be political and sexist. A boy is supposed to just take teasing from a girl, and if he can't it's because he secretly desires her and can't have her. What a load of *rap.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, that was the end of last year and I could not deal with it then. I see that it has stayed with difficult child and I will address it in the upcoming year.</p><p></p><p>ETA; I really appreciate the insight about teacher bullying and coping strategies. I will definitely demand that the school assist difficult child this year! Next year he goes into middle school so now is the time for us to get a handle on it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hamlet, post: 454242, member: 11970"] InsaneCdn, what I mean by the cognitive distortion comment is that difficult child takes the real problem of bullying or teasing and projects it into all areas of his life, his personality, physique, his self-image. in my opinion that is his illness and lack of self esteem talking. What I need the school to understand is that not only is the bullying and teasing wrong and it should not be tolerated, they also need to take extra steps to ensure that difficult child is respected and believed by the adults. When a conflict between students arises I think that the adults say, "Here's a kid with known emotional/behavioral problems. It must be (at least partially) his fault." Instead what they should say is, "Here's a kid with known emotional/behavioral problems. Let's be sensitive to his increased vulnerability to bullying/teasing and make sure that the matter is solved in a constructive way so that it doesn't increase his problems." Of course that would require the adult to set his/her personal agenda aside. ready2run, I know that parents tolerate and even encourage bullying and teasing in their children. Bigotry is a learned behavior, beit racisim, economic priviledge and bullying, or just pure selfishness, intolerance and entitlement. Teachers and child care workers practically beg parents to take a stand against unacceptable behavior at school. My children get double consequences for misbehavior - at school AND at home. It boggles my mind that a when a parent is contacted due to their child bullying another they will defend and make excuses for their child. One parent said that difficult child must be complaining about her daughter teasing him and calling him names because he secretly "likes" her, (as in a crush.) Uh, no, difficult child does not like this girl. She is mean, and not just to him. The teacher and the school accepted this rationale, which I found to be political and sexist. A boy is supposed to just take teasing from a girl, and if he can't it's because he secretly desires her and can't have her. What a load of *rap. Anyway, that was the end of last year and I could not deal with it then. I see that it has stayed with difficult child and I will address it in the upcoming year. ETA; I really appreciate the insight about teacher bullying and coping strategies. I will definitely demand that the school assist difficult child this year! Next year he goes into middle school so now is the time for us to get a handle on it. [/QUOTE]
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