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Extreme anxiety about school starting
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 454244" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Seems to me that you have two separate problems to deal with - and both are tough, and both work against each other.</p><p></p><p>1) School doesn't understand mental health issues. Everything about the assumptions and premises and ways of operating work completely against kids with these issues. "But its only a few kids who have the problem, so it can't possibly be the school." - ya right.</p><p></p><p>2) Your son doesn't understand school. The depression and anxiety don't allow him to understand how the other kids think and operate, and what the subtilties of social interaction are, and all the unwritten and unspoken rules. So the things that happen - he reacts to in ways that throw the others off. So it escalates.</p><p></p><p>Any idea of the cause of the depression and anxiety? You might get further by focusing on this part of the knot and seeing if you can unravel it from there. There may be some hidden disabilities in the background that you don't know about - or that you do know about but that haven't really been dealt with in ways that help at school.</p><p></p><p>Does he have any exceptional talents? Or some interests that you can turn into talents? He's at a rough age - where kids start to define themselves by what they can accomplish. If he can get a new "handle", a new "tag", the other kids will begin to treat him differently. Doubtful that will be sports - but art? music? math? drama? motors? origami? chess? something, anything. Then, give him extra lessons etc. to bring up his skills to the point that the other kids can move from just saying "he's strange", to "he's strange but he's really good at XXX". It changes how they are perceived, and therefore how they perceive themselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 454244, member: 11791"] Seems to me that you have two separate problems to deal with - and both are tough, and both work against each other. 1) School doesn't understand mental health issues. Everything about the assumptions and premises and ways of operating work completely against kids with these issues. "But its only a few kids who have the problem, so it can't possibly be the school." - ya right. 2) Your son doesn't understand school. The depression and anxiety don't allow him to understand how the other kids think and operate, and what the subtilties of social interaction are, and all the unwritten and unspoken rules. So the things that happen - he reacts to in ways that throw the others off. So it escalates. Any idea of the cause of the depression and anxiety? You might get further by focusing on this part of the knot and seeing if you can unravel it from there. There may be some hidden disabilities in the background that you don't know about - or that you do know about but that haven't really been dealt with in ways that help at school. Does he have any exceptional talents? Or some interests that you can turn into talents? He's at a rough age - where kids start to define themselves by what they can accomplish. If he can get a new "handle", a new "tag", the other kids will begin to treat him differently. Doubtful that will be sports - but art? music? math? drama? motors? origami? chess? something, anything. Then, give him extra lessons etc. to bring up his skills to the point that the other kids can move from just saying "he's strange", to "he's strange but he's really good at XXX". It changes how they are perceived, and therefore how they perceive themselves. [/QUOTE]
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