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Face Off grrrrrrrr
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 112978" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Here's another one of those I can only tell it here stories (still laughing about Janets throwing the kids in the trunk)</p><p></p><p>A lesson in idle threats </p><p></p><p>When difficult child was little around 7 or 8 - I think 8. I had tried and OVER compensated for him not having a dad around. I had left his father when he was 5 1/2 and was going out with DF, but had not introduced difficult child to him and didn't for a long while. </p><p></p><p>SO here we are going from living in a van - to a home of our own, where there were plenty of toys and he had left them all over the floor in his room. Ages 1-4 I had him picking them up and putting stuff away, 6 months with bio dad and he was wrecked. </p><p></p><p>So before I learned how to parent well I made the BIG threats - IF YOU DON'T CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM I AM GOING TO THROW ALL YOUR TOYS AWAY. And that should have been it right? I mean - you tell a kid you're going to toss out his toys - and leave, go watch TV and he should be in that room cleaning like a white tornado. (OH HAR) </p><p></p><p>So I went back about 20 minutes later, he's playing. I made that "OKAY I GUESS I'LL GET A TRASH BAG" and motioned towards the closet where the bags were. Nope - still playing. So he ends up going to bed with a filthy room - and I wait for him to sleep. </p><p></p><p>After he was deep sleep I snuck in the room and bagged up all his toys. The next morning was trash day. My plan was to HIDE the toys in the spare closet and take the trash out to the curb and NOT let him see that those were not his toys. </p><p></p><p>Well I set the bags down, got a call, did a few other things, and started with the kitchen trash, going room to room to put the garbage IN the bag. Got another call, set the garbage down and nearly forgot about it until 6:00 AM the next morning -</p><p></p><p>I jumped up and felt the bags, grabbed 2 and ran to the curb - the trash men were laughing - but OH I was so happy to get it to the curb on time. And when I came back in there was Dude standing in jammies, asking WHERE are my toys? In there ? And pointed to the spare room. And I smartly said NOPE - they are out THERE-and pointed to the trash compactor just NOW doing its compacting at the neighbors. We could here it. And i said "THIS, patting the bag is.....OMG...this is (tearing the bag open) OH #$U) THIS IS REALLY GARBAGE AND I THREW YOUR TOYS OUT!!!!" </p><p></p><p>difficult child freaked out. I was just sick - thinking about all the things this kid has lost and now I throw away his toys in an effort to make an effort to be a tough love parent. </p><p></p><p>But you know what? FROM THAT DAY ON - if I said 'I want your toys picked up now!" It got done. Because -----he said and I quote "YES MOTHER , if I don't pick up my toys YOU will throw them away." </p><p></p><p>After that - I tried to remember that idle threats mean nothing so I worked hard not to make them - or to say "I threw them away" and they were in a garage. Witz is right - pick out a few things - because YOu KNOW you will be doing the laundry and haul the rest to a church and give them to needy kids. If your's is the needy one - she's certainly not acting like she appreciates it at all. Or better yet - haul them out to the curb and tell her you threw them away (bwah ha ha) </p><p></p><p>Just remember not to mix up the clothes or toys with trash. </p><p></p><p>I'm taking a lesson from Timer Ladys post about simplifying - and I am enjoying it SO much. Less is more. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 112978, member: 4964"] Here's another one of those I can only tell it here stories (still laughing about Janets throwing the kids in the trunk) A lesson in idle threats When difficult child was little around 7 or 8 - I think 8. I had tried and OVER compensated for him not having a dad around. I had left his father when he was 5 1/2 and was going out with DF, but had not introduced difficult child to him and didn't for a long while. SO here we are going from living in a van - to a home of our own, where there were plenty of toys and he had left them all over the floor in his room. Ages 1-4 I had him picking them up and putting stuff away, 6 months with bio dad and he was wrecked. So before I learned how to parent well I made the BIG threats - IF YOU DON'T CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM I AM GOING TO THROW ALL YOUR TOYS AWAY. And that should have been it right? I mean - you tell a kid you're going to toss out his toys - and leave, go watch TV and he should be in that room cleaning like a white tornado. (OH HAR) So I went back about 20 minutes later, he's playing. I made that "OKAY I GUESS I'LL GET A TRASH BAG" and motioned towards the closet where the bags were. Nope - still playing. So he ends up going to bed with a filthy room - and I wait for him to sleep. After he was deep sleep I snuck in the room and bagged up all his toys. The next morning was trash day. My plan was to HIDE the toys in the spare closet and take the trash out to the curb and NOT let him see that those were not his toys. Well I set the bags down, got a call, did a few other things, and started with the kitchen trash, going room to room to put the garbage IN the bag. Got another call, set the garbage down and nearly forgot about it until 6:00 AM the next morning - I jumped up and felt the bags, grabbed 2 and ran to the curb - the trash men were laughing - but OH I was so happy to get it to the curb on time. And when I came back in there was Dude standing in jammies, asking WHERE are my toys? In there ? And pointed to the spare room. And I smartly said NOPE - they are out THERE-and pointed to the trash compactor just NOW doing its compacting at the neighbors. We could here it. And i said "THIS, patting the bag is.....OMG...this is (tearing the bag open) OH #$U) THIS IS REALLY GARBAGE AND I THREW YOUR TOYS OUT!!!!" difficult child freaked out. I was just sick - thinking about all the things this kid has lost and now I throw away his toys in an effort to make an effort to be a tough love parent. But you know what? FROM THAT DAY ON - if I said 'I want your toys picked up now!" It got done. Because -----he said and I quote "YES MOTHER , if I don't pick up my toys YOU will throw them away." After that - I tried to remember that idle threats mean nothing so I worked hard not to make them - or to say "I threw them away" and they were in a garage. Witz is right - pick out a few things - because YOu KNOW you will be doing the laundry and haul the rest to a church and give them to needy kids. If your's is the needy one - she's certainly not acting like she appreciates it at all. Or better yet - haul them out to the curb and tell her you threw them away (bwah ha ha) Just remember not to mix up the clothes or toys with trash. I'm taking a lesson from Timer Ladys post about simplifying - and I am enjoying it SO much. Less is more. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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