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<blockquote data-quote="jetsam" data-source="post: 701749" data-attributes="member: 20689"><p>Hi stressed out, I am sorry for what you are going through. Yes, I can see your son has emotional issues and I'm sorry for that. I do have to say that it does not entitle him to be emotionally and verbally abusive to you! He is hard working and since he is loved at work it seems like he knows how to behave correctly when he is away from home. It seems they always hurt those that are closest to them. (my son does the same thing.) The problem is if you don't stop the behavior now it will continue and set a precedent that its ok to treat mom this way. We cannot change their behaviors..they are adults. But what we can change is our behavior. By that i mean what we will accept and not accept. As I see it you have the right to tell him that you will not accept unacceptable behavior. Tell him what you want and give him a time line. If he does not meet your requirements, well then by all means go out and live your life! This is your home! It is supposed to be your sanctuary ! where you have peace., not turmoil. He can follow his rules in HIS home not yours. But you need to give a time line and stick to it..I know its hard but If he sees you mean it and follow through he will learn that his current behavior will not be tolerated. I also suggest you find some counseling for YOU. It helps to talk to someone, and they can help give you Ideas on how to better cope with this situation. Be kind to yourself..do something for you! You are important! more people will come along and post. Keep reading on this site it helps. Good luck and hugs to you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jetsam, post: 701749, member: 20689"] Hi stressed out, I am sorry for what you are going through. Yes, I can see your son has emotional issues and I'm sorry for that. I do have to say that it does not entitle him to be emotionally and verbally abusive to you! He is hard working and since he is loved at work it seems like he knows how to behave correctly when he is away from home. It seems they always hurt those that are closest to them. (my son does the same thing.) The problem is if you don't stop the behavior now it will continue and set a precedent that its ok to treat mom this way. We cannot change their behaviors..they are adults. But what we can change is our behavior. By that i mean what we will accept and not accept. As I see it you have the right to tell him that you will not accept unacceptable behavior. Tell him what you want and give him a time line. If he does not meet your requirements, well then by all means go out and live your life! This is your home! It is supposed to be your sanctuary ! where you have peace., not turmoil. He can follow his rules in HIS home not yours. But you need to give a time line and stick to it..I know its hard but If he sees you mean it and follow through he will learn that his current behavior will not be tolerated. I also suggest you find some counseling for YOU. It helps to talk to someone, and they can help give you Ideas on how to better cope with this situation. Be kind to yourself..do something for you! You are important! more people will come along and post. Keep reading on this site it helps. Good luck and hugs to you [/QUOTE]
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