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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 226679" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>You're not a wife. They're not grandkids. They probably don't approve of the relationship, at least not the live-in factor. Does that excuse their callousness? Not really but it is what it is.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry your daughter was hurt but at almost 10, she is old enough to understand that life isn't always fair, especially not when people have favorites. I sincerely doubt your daughter would have been happy with just a $10 Barbie when the other kids were getting tons of gifts. This is especially true if she's noticing labels. </p><p> </p><p>Regardless of how they feel about you or the live-in situations, kids are being hurt. I would either do one of two things -- either come later with my kids after gifts have been opened or flat out demand that my kids get the same number of gifts as his kids (not the same value, just the same amount). Bringing gifts for yours to open is a nice idea but they're still going to feel slighted. </p><p> </p><p>I did have a friend who was in a very similar situation. They both had two kids that were very close in age. They got the message across quite well to his parents. His daughter opened a gift, her daughter opened a gift meant for his daughter. Ditto for the two boys. And every kid got to keep what was opened by them. The grandparents were rather chagrinned to see their wonderful gifts going to kids they really had no attachment to but they then did understand that this was family and all kids were to be treated equally. by the way -- it was the husband's idea to do this, not the wife's.</p><p> </p><p>I wish you luck. Blended families are truly hard for some people to cope with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 226679, member: 3626"] You're not a wife. They're not grandkids. They probably don't approve of the relationship, at least not the live-in factor. Does that excuse their callousness? Not really but it is what it is. I'm sorry your daughter was hurt but at almost 10, she is old enough to understand that life isn't always fair, especially not when people have favorites. I sincerely doubt your daughter would have been happy with just a $10 Barbie when the other kids were getting tons of gifts. This is especially true if she's noticing labels. Regardless of how they feel about you or the live-in situations, kids are being hurt. I would either do one of two things -- either come later with my kids after gifts have been opened or flat out demand that my kids get the same number of gifts as his kids (not the same value, just the same amount). Bringing gifts for yours to open is a nice idea but they're still going to feel slighted. I did have a friend who was in a very similar situation. They both had two kids that were very close in age. They got the message across quite well to his parents. His daughter opened a gift, her daughter opened a gift meant for his daughter. Ditto for the two boys. And every kid got to keep what was opened by them. The grandparents were rather chagrinned to see their wonderful gifts going to kids they really had no attachment to but they then did understand that this was family and all kids were to be treated equally. by the way -- it was the husband's idea to do this, not the wife's. I wish you luck. Blended families are truly hard for some people to cope with. [/QUOTE]
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