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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 227236" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Jennifer,</p><p> </p><p>I completely understand where you are coming from....</p><p> </p><p>The last straw for us, was the year that in the midst of the other kid's "Barbie Dream Houses" and video games, my children were given underwear purchased from the Goodwill Thrift Store. {<em>Can you even believe that? Picking out old underwear at Goodwill? That is putting in a pretty big effort just to be a jerk to a child!} </em>Luckily, I had prepared my kids to receive "bad" gifts that year--and so when the boxes were opened each child was ready to give Nono and Nona a big hug and say "Thank you". When we went home we had a huge laugh about it--making jokes about the "Worst Present Ever"--and then with great ceremony we let the kids throw their "new" undies away.</p><p> </p><p>We have not been to Nono and Nona's house for Christmas since...</p><p> </p><p>AND, I am happy to report, that because we turned things around and set boundaries on our holiday visits...we have earned a new level of respect from these relatives. This year, each child received a special card in the mail (a card that had been purchased individually--<em>not</em> from a boxed set of holiday cards), with a handwritten note have a wonderful Christmas, and <em>a check for $25.</em> What a huge difference!</p><p> </p><p>What made these two so inconsiderate of my children's feelings in the first place, I have no idea. Why they have now come around to being better grandparents...who knows? I am sure that here will never be a good explanation.</p><p> </p><p>However, the story of receiving "Goodwill Underwear" for Christmas is one of the holiday stories that we will re-tell for many generations to come.</p><p> </p><p>I hope that you and your boyfriend will be able to work out a Holiday visit arrangement that works out best for your family. There may well be no rational explanantion for their behavior--blended family, unmarried, problem child, no money--none of these really excuse away rudeness. And when your child sees that you are upset over the situation...it only makes her feel worse.</p><p> </p><p>And at the end of the day...you want to spend the holiday with the people who love you (and these are not necessarily your relatives). Visit instead with "Honorary" Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents--Those friends and neighbors who truly care about you and your child.</p><p> </p><p>Best wishes!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 227236, member: 6546"] Jennifer, I completely understand where you are coming from.... The last straw for us, was the year that in the midst of the other kid's "Barbie Dream Houses" and video games, my children were given underwear purchased from the Goodwill Thrift Store. {[I]Can you even believe that? Picking out old underwear at Goodwill? That is putting in a pretty big effort just to be a jerk to a child!} [/I]Luckily, I had prepared my kids to receive "bad" gifts that year--and so when the boxes were opened each child was ready to give Nono and Nona a big hug and say "Thank you". When we went home we had a huge laugh about it--making jokes about the "Worst Present Ever"--and then with great ceremony we let the kids throw their "new" undies away. We have not been to Nono and Nona's house for Christmas since... AND, I am happy to report, that because we turned things around and set boundaries on our holiday visits...we have earned a new level of respect from these relatives. This year, each child received a special card in the mail (a card that had been purchased individually--[I]not[/I] from a boxed set of holiday cards), with a handwritten note have a wonderful Christmas, and [I]a check for $25.[/I] What a huge difference! What made these two so inconsiderate of my children's feelings in the first place, I have no idea. Why they have now come around to being better grandparents...who knows? I am sure that here will never be a good explanation. However, the story of receiving "Goodwill Underwear" for Christmas is one of the holiday stories that we will re-tell for many generations to come. I hope that you and your boyfriend will be able to work out a Holiday visit arrangement that works out best for your family. There may well be no rational explanantion for their behavior--blended family, unmarried, problem child, no money--none of these really excuse away rudeness. And when your child sees that you are upset over the situation...it only makes her feel worse. And at the end of the day...you want to spend the holiday with the people who love you (and these are not necessarily your relatives). Visit instead with "Honorary" Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents--Those friends and neighbors who truly care about you and your child. Best wishes!! [/QUOTE]
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