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Family of Origin
Family of Origin issues / Parenting
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 619306" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>I was raised as an only child by a very young career-focused mother that loved to move all the time...and seemed to love her social life more than me. </p><p> </p><p>I would say I was neglected for much of my early childhood. My mother wanted to "prove" herself to her parents after she married and had me at 17. She was divorced by 19 and I did not "meet" or see my bio dad again til I, myself, was 17. </p><p> </p><p>I don't remember my mother ever sitting down helping me with homework. I don't remember her ever getting down on the floor to play with my toys with me or even reading me a book. SHe was working...and I was with "cheap" babysitters who I don't think cared for me well at all. </p><p> </p><p>I grew up "not belonging". Not anywhere. As I said we moved all of the time...10 times to be exact by the time I was in 9th grade. I did not make friends easily and suffered from anxiety. </p><p> </p><p>When I married and began having children...it was extremely important for me to "have a big family", "be involved", "live in one place", "belong". And so I set out to be the perfect wife and mother. </p><p> </p><p>That "perfection" back-fired in many ways. </p><p>I think I did TOO MUCH for my children and contributed to some of the problems my two son's have experienced...especially young difficult child. Young difficult child does not like to work hard, suffers from great anxiety, and is an addict. Addiction is also prevelant on both husband's and my side. </p><p> </p><p>I went the "other extreme" in many ways. I tried very hard to "control the picture" at all times. To make all the pieces fit perfectly...and STILL it didn't work as I had planned. </p><p> </p><p>I will say that I am happy that both oldest difficult child and easy child seem to be adjusted and doing fairlly well today. I just wish my young difficult child could get it together. </p><p> </p><p>I wish I knew then what I know now...sigh. </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 619306, member: 3305"] I was raised as an only child by a very young career-focused mother that loved to move all the time...and seemed to love her social life more than me. I would say I was neglected for much of my early childhood. My mother wanted to "prove" herself to her parents after she married and had me at 17. She was divorced by 19 and I did not "meet" or see my bio dad again til I, myself, was 17. I don't remember my mother ever sitting down helping me with homework. I don't remember her ever getting down on the floor to play with my toys with me or even reading me a book. SHe was working...and I was with "cheap" babysitters who I don't think cared for me well at all. I grew up "not belonging". Not anywhere. As I said we moved all of the time...10 times to be exact by the time I was in 9th grade. I did not make friends easily and suffered from anxiety. When I married and began having children...it was extremely important for me to "have a big family", "be involved", "live in one place", "belong". And so I set out to be the perfect wife and mother. That "perfection" back-fired in many ways. I think I did TOO MUCH for my children and contributed to some of the problems my two son's have experienced...especially young difficult child. Young difficult child does not like to work hard, suffers from great anxiety, and is an addict. Addiction is also prevelant on both husband's and my side. I went the "other extreme" in many ways. I tried very hard to "control the picture" at all times. To make all the pieces fit perfectly...and STILL it didn't work as I had planned. I will say that I am happy that both oldest difficult child and easy child seem to be adjusted and doing fairlly well today. I just wish my young difficult child could get it together. I wish I knew then what I know now...sigh. LMS [/QUOTE]
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