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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 543686" data-attributes="member: 15799"><p>I would absolutely explain that J has ADHD and even explain how it manifests itself in him, which of J's behaviors he cannot control at this point at time and the proper way to "teach" him what is ok and what isn't. Explain that punishing and yelling are not going to help and then tell them what will. difficult child 1 had similar issues with a large "daycare". They had so many kids and they had specific rules that applied there but not anywhere else so difficult child 1 was frequently "in trouble" for not following the rules. One example is we live very close to the local swimming pool. When my kids hit a certain age, I allowed them to go there alone. They were allowed to go in and out of the pool area as long as they stayed on pool property. They did awesome and followed that rule. This daycare took the whole group to the swimming pool. Because there were so many kids, their rule was that the kids had to stay within the pool fencing. This was not the rule difficult child 1 was used to so he followed "mom's rules". Yea, you can see where I'm going here don't you? Not pretty.</p><p></p><p>You might need to pointedly tell them you need to know what rules J wasn't following so YOU can also teach him the differences. Sound like you want to help teach J what their rules are. If they don't tell you the ones he doesn't know, how can you help? Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>As for the other kid, he's obviously a follower and went along with J because J was doing it and it looked fun and they are friends. I think that might be why the director was more frazzled. She wasn't able to control her child because he was doing whatever J did.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 543686, member: 15799"] I would absolutely explain that J has ADHD and even explain how it manifests itself in him, which of J's behaviors he cannot control at this point at time and the proper way to "teach" him what is ok and what isn't. Explain that punishing and yelling are not going to help and then tell them what will. difficult child 1 had similar issues with a large "daycare". They had so many kids and they had specific rules that applied there but not anywhere else so difficult child 1 was frequently "in trouble" for not following the rules. One example is we live very close to the local swimming pool. When my kids hit a certain age, I allowed them to go there alone. They were allowed to go in and out of the pool area as long as they stayed on pool property. They did awesome and followed that rule. This daycare took the whole group to the swimming pool. Because there were so many kids, their rule was that the kids had to stay within the pool fencing. This was not the rule difficult child 1 was used to so he followed "mom's rules". Yea, you can see where I'm going here don't you? Not pretty. You might need to pointedly tell them you need to know what rules J wasn't following so YOU can also teach him the differences. Sound like you want to help teach J what their rules are. If they don't tell you the ones he doesn't know, how can you help? Know what I mean?? As for the other kid, he's obviously a follower and went along with J because J was doing it and it looked fun and they are friends. I think that might be why the director was more frazzled. She wasn't able to control her child because he was doing whatever J did. [/QUOTE]
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