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Fear of gangs???
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 500678" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>LOL!, DDD- thank you and no, you aren't hovering on me- we have worked thru a lot of miscommunication!</p><p></p><p>DJ, it's one of those you mentioned but I really don't want to get into mentioning certain ones. They - not just this one but a few- are all over now. When they infiltrated the "nice" neighborhood and sd we used to live in, I was a little worried but not too much- probably similar to what Jamie described to you. I feel certain they were in the last neighborhood I was in but, as DDD kind of described, they never bothered me and I never bothered them.</p><p></p><p>I think this situation is different with difficult child- I don't think this gang is known for forgetting a "trangression" from someone that has no protection from another gang. I am worried about it- I'm just not sure yet how worried about it I should be. I don't want to get paranoid over it but I sure don't want to go around thinking nothing horrible can happen to my kid, or won't happen, when I I see these kids with the gang tattoos and making the gestures even in visitation in a facility, I read the news, ....I think there is reason to be concerned. I'm not saying necessarily that I think difficult child will be killed within days of being released (girlfriend- ) but I think there could be trouble and he could end up in a bad situation where he either feels physically threatened, worried about being set up or whatever, and he's already said he doesn't know if he'd end up having to join the rival gang just to try to defend himself. I do believe he's honest about those thoughts and they aren't an excuse. He's never expressed interest in joining a gang andf my VERY limited knowledge about them does leave me thinking that many kids end up joining one to defend themselves from another one. I just want to get him out of HS- I have started realizing how when kids are in the lower and middle school age years, school is almost a safety net, but when they get close to 18, public schools (any of them) can be more of a hindrance and place of trouble. It's very hard for them to go about their own business when everyone who they are worried about will be there, too.Know what I mean?? Think of how different things would be for him if he was already out of HS, didn't have to go to a GH and live with these same people, etc. Not that life would be easy or that he could forget that any of this ever happened, but it seems like it would be a heck of a lot easier to go on with his own life.</p><p></p><p>If I can get a job in another state, even if they made him go to a GH there, it sure would help. If he can keep his mouth shut to other boys in the system, no one in another state would know the previous stuff and more than likely, they would leave him alone, except for the typical squabbles or occasional fist fight.</p><p></p><p>He's the one that brought this "fear" up and now he's gone to so many people in Department of Juvenile Justice about it, I am wondering if that's not going to backfire- I don't think some of those staff are knowledgable enough to realize that they have no business talking so much to kids in there about things they do- kind of like school teachers- some of them tell wayyyyy too much to kids and if you tell a teacher something, you can't always bank on no other kid finding out about it.</p><p></p><p>My son just isn't very good about knowing when to quit digging himself in deeper. Yes, that's a facetious understatement!</p><p></p><p>On a good note- I bought long johns today so maybe I can bring myself to stand out in line in the cold tomorrow morning for visitation since I haven't seen him since Christmas and his b-day was Thurs.</p><p></p><p>And I got the microwave out of the box after organizing the kitchen a little better so I can have MW popcorn tonight and watch a movie! (the MW box is now doubling as an end table and printer stand.) The dogs will be happy- I got bones for them to chew while I eat my popcorn. I just have to remember to chew on the one "good" side of my mouth but I think I can do it.</p><p></p><p>And I am pretty sure I have the used BR furniture sold to make room in the 2nd BR for difficult child- assuming he'll at least be able to visit sometime in the next few mos- or if I move again, it will be less to pay to move.</p><p></p><p>So it's been a successful day...now if I can just decide what movie to watch.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 500678, member: 3699"] LOL!, DDD- thank you and no, you aren't hovering on me- we have worked thru a lot of miscommunication! DJ, it's one of those you mentioned but I really don't want to get into mentioning certain ones. They - not just this one but a few- are all over now. When they infiltrated the "nice" neighborhood and sd we used to live in, I was a little worried but not too much- probably similar to what Jamie described to you. I feel certain they were in the last neighborhood I was in but, as DDD kind of described, they never bothered me and I never bothered them. I think this situation is different with difficult child- I don't think this gang is known for forgetting a "trangression" from someone that has no protection from another gang. I am worried about it- I'm just not sure yet how worried about it I should be. I don't want to get paranoid over it but I sure don't want to go around thinking nothing horrible can happen to my kid, or won't happen, when I I see these kids with the gang tattoos and making the gestures even in visitation in a facility, I read the news, ....I think there is reason to be concerned. I'm not saying necessarily that I think difficult child will be killed within days of being released (girlfriend- ) but I think there could be trouble and he could end up in a bad situation where he either feels physically threatened, worried about being set up or whatever, and he's already said he doesn't know if he'd end up having to join the rival gang just to try to defend himself. I do believe he's honest about those thoughts and they aren't an excuse. He's never expressed interest in joining a gang andf my VERY limited knowledge about them does leave me thinking that many kids end up joining one to defend themselves from another one. I just want to get him out of HS- I have started realizing how when kids are in the lower and middle school age years, school is almost a safety net, but when they get close to 18, public schools (any of them) can be more of a hindrance and place of trouble. It's very hard for them to go about their own business when everyone who they are worried about will be there, too.Know what I mean?? Think of how different things would be for him if he was already out of HS, didn't have to go to a GH and live with these same people, etc. Not that life would be easy or that he could forget that any of this ever happened, but it seems like it would be a heck of a lot easier to go on with his own life. If I can get a job in another state, even if they made him go to a GH there, it sure would help. If he can keep his mouth shut to other boys in the system, no one in another state would know the previous stuff and more than likely, they would leave him alone, except for the typical squabbles or occasional fist fight. He's the one that brought this "fear" up and now he's gone to so many people in Department of Juvenile Justice about it, I am wondering if that's not going to backfire- I don't think some of those staff are knowledgable enough to realize that they have no business talking so much to kids in there about things they do- kind of like school teachers- some of them tell wayyyyy too much to kids and if you tell a teacher something, you can't always bank on no other kid finding out about it. My son just isn't very good about knowing when to quit digging himself in deeper. Yes, that's a facetious understatement! On a good note- I bought long johns today so maybe I can bring myself to stand out in line in the cold tomorrow morning for visitation since I haven't seen him since Christmas and his b-day was Thurs. And I got the microwave out of the box after organizing the kitchen a little better so I can have MW popcorn tonight and watch a movie! (the MW box is now doubling as an end table and printer stand.) The dogs will be happy- I got bones for them to chew while I eat my popcorn. I just have to remember to chew on the one "good" side of my mouth but I think I can do it. And I am pretty sure I have the used BR furniture sold to make room in the 2nd BR for difficult child- assuming he'll at least be able to visit sometime in the next few mos- or if I move again, it will be less to pay to move. So it's been a successful day...now if I can just decide what movie to watch. [/QUOTE]
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