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Feedback - Residential Treatment/Therapeutic Boarding Schools
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<blockquote data-quote="DadFirst" data-source="post: 335069" data-attributes="member: 8834"><p>This is my first post - referred by a member as an excellent place with a wealth of information. Thanks to all that participate!</p><p> </p><p>I have a 14 yo difficult child who I'm seriously considering sending to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/TBS and am seeking feedback from anyone who has "been there, done that" or knows someone who has. I know it is a huge and very expensive decision and want to make certain I'm doing the right thing for myself and especially for my difficult child. I also know there are quite a few terrible programs out there and I am being <em><u>very</u></em> thorough in my research. I have ruled out wilderness and other shorter term or punitive (break em down, build em back up) types of programs. I feel like I have no alternatives at this point and I guess I'm really looking for confirmation that yes, SOME programs are effective. I know many are not. If you want to stop reading here and share your experience, that would be great, if you want more details, read on.</p><p> </p><p>We noticed behavioral issues very early on and started trying counseling when he was about 5 or 6 and cycled back through a few times with no results. As he approached puberty, his tantrums grew more excessive and eventually led to significant property destruction in our home and the rage, disrespect and defiance many of you are familiar with. At this point he refused any counseling or even to acknowledge there was a problem. All we could do was educate ourselves as much as possible, attend parent-coaching and try to help him ourselves.</p><p> </p><p>During a rage episode in the spring, he kicked down a good portion of our 6' wooden fence, smashed out my windshield, cut up my license plate with hedge trimmers, severed the water main to our house, punched numerous dents into our cars, etc. When he finally calmed down hours later, he locked and barricaded himself in his bedroom for the next 3 days, only coming out to eat and use the bathroom. As this led to about his 8th consecutive day of missing school, I knew he needed more help than I could provide. I contacted the sheriff for help. With three officers standing in his room, he agreed to go with me for a psychiatric assessment. Fortunately, one of the officers followed us. When we arrived at the psychiatric hospital for youth he went bizerk and was finally restrained, baker acted and admitted.</p><p> </p><p>He was diagnosed with ODD (obviously), Mood Disorder not otherwise specified (a polite way of saying bi-polar) and severe anxiety. He began medication immediately and was released about 4 days later. Wow, were we relieved and exited about the difference in his behavior. He hugged us regularly, told he loved us, listened to (most) of what we said and acted like a typical teen. He even seemed to manage anger and frustration like a pro.</p><p> </p><p>About a month ago it all began to unravel with school skipping, no attempt to do his school work, hanging with the wrong kids. I caught him shooting out our street light with a pellet gun and after I tried to take it away from him (he's now bigger than I am), he took a shot in my direction. Then, we find out he and 2 other boys committed some property crimes. When confronted he didn't think it was a big deal and didn't understand why we were upset. As a consequence, we told him he lost his privileges and off he went like the bad 'ol days. He punched a hole in the wall for starters and just kept going. When the sheriff arrived, he ran. When they finally caught him he just cursed at them continuously. When we picked him up from his night at juvi, he said "that wasn't as bad as the hospital and I don't care if I go back." Within an hour, he posted his experience on his web page since he was so proud of it.</p><p> </p><p>Since then, he has refused to cooperate with us or listen to us entirely. He does what he wants, when he wants. We have taken away all privileges except food and he knows how to earn them back but refuses. I guess he's thinking we used our last deterrent, going to jail (juvi), and we have no ammunition left. Unfortunately, I feel like he may be right. I have no idea what else we can do so we are considering a 6-12 month placement at a caring, professionally staffed, reputable Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p> </p><p>I'd like to name the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) we are focusing on to see if any of you know anything about it, but I'm not sure if that may be against the forum rules.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for any feedback you can provide!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DadFirst, post: 335069, member: 8834"] This is my first post - referred by a member as an excellent place with a wealth of information. Thanks to all that participate! I have a 14 yo difficult child who I'm seriously considering sending to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/TBS and am seeking feedback from anyone who has "been there, done that" or knows someone who has. I know it is a huge and very expensive decision and want to make certain I'm doing the right thing for myself and especially for my difficult child. I also know there are quite a few terrible programs out there and I am being [I][U]very[/U][/I] thorough in my research. I have ruled out wilderness and other shorter term or punitive (break em down, build em back up) types of programs. I feel like I have no alternatives at this point and I guess I'm really looking for confirmation that yes, SOME programs are effective. I know many are not. If you want to stop reading here and share your experience, that would be great, if you want more details, read on. We noticed behavioral issues very early on and started trying counseling when he was about 5 or 6 and cycled back through a few times with no results. As he approached puberty, his tantrums grew more excessive and eventually led to significant property destruction in our home and the rage, disrespect and defiance many of you are familiar with. At this point he refused any counseling or even to acknowledge there was a problem. All we could do was educate ourselves as much as possible, attend parent-coaching and try to help him ourselves. During a rage episode in the spring, he kicked down a good portion of our 6' wooden fence, smashed out my windshield, cut up my license plate with hedge trimmers, severed the water main to our house, punched numerous dents into our cars, etc. When he finally calmed down hours later, he locked and barricaded himself in his bedroom for the next 3 days, only coming out to eat and use the bathroom. As this led to about his 8th consecutive day of missing school, I knew he needed more help than I could provide. I contacted the sheriff for help. With three officers standing in his room, he agreed to go with me for a psychiatric assessment. Fortunately, one of the officers followed us. When we arrived at the psychiatric hospital for youth he went bizerk and was finally restrained, baker acted and admitted. He was diagnosed with ODD (obviously), Mood Disorder not otherwise specified (a polite way of saying bi-polar) and severe anxiety. He began medication immediately and was released about 4 days later. Wow, were we relieved and exited about the difference in his behavior. He hugged us regularly, told he loved us, listened to (most) of what we said and acted like a typical teen. He even seemed to manage anger and frustration like a pro. About a month ago it all began to unravel with school skipping, no attempt to do his school work, hanging with the wrong kids. I caught him shooting out our street light with a pellet gun and after I tried to take it away from him (he's now bigger than I am), he took a shot in my direction. Then, we find out he and 2 other boys committed some property crimes. When confronted he didn't think it was a big deal and didn't understand why we were upset. As a consequence, we told him he lost his privileges and off he went like the bad 'ol days. He punched a hole in the wall for starters and just kept going. When the sheriff arrived, he ran. When they finally caught him he just cursed at them continuously. When we picked him up from his night at juvi, he said "that wasn't as bad as the hospital and I don't care if I go back." Within an hour, he posted his experience on his web page since he was so proud of it. Since then, he has refused to cooperate with us or listen to us entirely. He does what he wants, when he wants. We have taken away all privileges except food and he knows how to earn them back but refuses. I guess he's thinking we used our last deterrent, going to jail (juvi), and we have no ammunition left. Unfortunately, I feel like he may be right. I have no idea what else we can do so we are considering a 6-12 month placement at a caring, professionally staffed, reputable Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I'd like to name the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) we are focusing on to see if any of you know anything about it, but I'm not sure if that may be against the forum rules. Thank you for any feedback you can provide! [/QUOTE]
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