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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 239392"><p>I don't know if I can live like this for years before he understands how much I love him.</p><p> </p><p>When I told difficult child the rules the other day, I also wrote them down. For husband to see. I do not believe husband would read it, but it is written down.</p><p> </p><p>ONE was...when you go to a friends house WE will tell you what time you will be picked up at.</p><p> </p><p>Last night. He gets home from school at 3pm. Immediately goes on the computer to play his stupid game. At 5:30 I asked him if he had any other plans than to play computer games. He is snotty and yells at me about NOT having friends because he goes to this small school. I ask if he has homework..well, that was a mistake. I ask him to come out of the computer room and be with the family. I ask him if he wants to go work out at the gym, no. I ask him to show me how to play wii fit. No. Then he starts yelling at me. I calmly told him he is not to speak to me that way. I walked out, put on my shoes and told husband that I will NOT be disrespected, and I was going out for a drink. (I don't drink......yet) I drove down to the Lake and watched the waves on the ice. Went home about an hour later. Nobody home. husband comes in and I ask where difficult child is. At a friends. Homework? He is doing it there. I asked him at what time he is coming home. husband--don't know, didn't ask him. I told husband that it is NOT up to difficult child. It IS a school night, and the rules are that WE tell him what time he is to be picked up. I then went to bed.(worked the night before). I get up this morning and open difficult child's folder. One math paper done, one in another folder blank. I ask husband about the blank one. He has no idea. Said difficult child told him, showed him the paper that was complete. DAH...does he actually think difficult child will take the blank one out and show him? So, husband wakes him up and asks him. difficult child says it was a review sheet didn't need to be done. husband glares at me and goes to work.</p><p>I email the math teacher and questioned the homework. YES it DID need to be done.</p><p>So...do I mention it? Do I "start" the fight?</p><p>I asked difficult child if he would go to the gym and workout with me after school. He said he didn't want to but would. (he has put on a ton of weight). However he asks me to look at his throat, it is bright red. He wouldn't eat breakfast because his throat hurt.</p><p>I don't want to have him come home and sit at the computer. That is where he eats too. He needs exercise. What to do.</p><p> </p><p>Well, I know it was our deal that husband would pay the bills, but they are still sitting there and over due. So, I must go take care of that now.</p><p>I did tell therapist the other day when difficult child went that although husband agreed to pay the bills, and it is what I want, I am afraid to show him how I do it. He cannot pay them all at once, and he cannot pay the entire amount on medical bills. It has to be spread out over the month or we would have no money to eat or get gas. If I try to show him the system I use, husband will yell and say "SEE you LOVE to do this". therapist agreed and said we will need to discuss this transition. So since husband hasn't attempted, or mentioned the bills--I must do it.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry I am such a pain. I do read your posts, just that I don't have any advice. You are all so much wiser than me. If I don't post a reply it isn't that I am not thinking of you. I am. And you are all in my daily thoughts and prayers.</p><p> </p><p>Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 239392"] I don't know if I can live like this for years before he understands how much I love him. When I told difficult child the rules the other day, I also wrote them down. For husband to see. I do not believe husband would read it, but it is written down. ONE was...when you go to a friends house WE will tell you what time you will be picked up at. Last night. He gets home from school at 3pm. Immediately goes on the computer to play his stupid game. At 5:30 I asked him if he had any other plans than to play computer games. He is snotty and yells at me about NOT having friends because he goes to this small school. I ask if he has homework..well, that was a mistake. I ask him to come out of the computer room and be with the family. I ask him if he wants to go work out at the gym, no. I ask him to show me how to play wii fit. No. Then he starts yelling at me. I calmly told him he is not to speak to me that way. I walked out, put on my shoes and told husband that I will NOT be disrespected, and I was going out for a drink. (I don't drink......yet) I drove down to the Lake and watched the waves on the ice. Went home about an hour later. Nobody home. husband comes in and I ask where difficult child is. At a friends. Homework? He is doing it there. I asked him at what time he is coming home. husband--don't know, didn't ask him. I told husband that it is NOT up to difficult child. It IS a school night, and the rules are that WE tell him what time he is to be picked up. I then went to bed.(worked the night before). I get up this morning and open difficult child's folder. One math paper done, one in another folder blank. I ask husband about the blank one. He has no idea. Said difficult child told him, showed him the paper that was complete. DAH...does he actually think difficult child will take the blank one out and show him? So, husband wakes him up and asks him. difficult child says it was a review sheet didn't need to be done. husband glares at me and goes to work. I email the math teacher and questioned the homework. YES it DID need to be done. So...do I mention it? Do I "start" the fight? I asked difficult child if he would go to the gym and workout with me after school. He said he didn't want to but would. (he has put on a ton of weight). However he asks me to look at his throat, it is bright red. He wouldn't eat breakfast because his throat hurt. I don't want to have him come home and sit at the computer. That is where he eats too. He needs exercise. What to do. Well, I know it was our deal that husband would pay the bills, but they are still sitting there and over due. So, I must go take care of that now. I did tell therapist the other day when difficult child went that although husband agreed to pay the bills, and it is what I want, I am afraid to show him how I do it. He cannot pay them all at once, and he cannot pay the entire amount on medical bills. It has to be spread out over the month or we would have no money to eat or get gas. If I try to show him the system I use, husband will yell and say "SEE you LOVE to do this". therapist agreed and said we will need to discuss this transition. So since husband hasn't attempted, or mentioned the bills--I must do it. Sorry I am such a pain. I do read your posts, just that I don't have any advice. You are all so much wiser than me. If I don't post a reply it isn't that I am not thinking of you. I am. And you are all in my daily thoughts and prayers. Kathy [/QUOTE]
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