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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 239621" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Hey kjs........</p><p></p><p>So I have read the other posts and they have all given great advice, so I will not repeat it. I want to affirm what everyone has said.</p><p></p><p>Given that - I want to give you some homework. YOU, not husband or difficult child, you.</p><p></p><p>A) I want you to see that counselor every single week and only talk about YOU. Talk about what it feels like to be you, and live and walk in your shoes. You deserve someone to just listen to you, to be understood, to affirm you and your reality.</p><p></p><p>B) I want you, just for one week, to completely disconnect from being difficult children parent. Just for one week, do not set limits, boundaries, or directives. Do not contact the school or teachers. The only way I want you to connect with your difficult child this ONE week is through casual conversation. Period. </p><p></p><p>It will be everything you can do, to make 'B' happen, I know. Everything in you will want to step in and take over, but do not allow that to happen. Take notes on every interaction you have with difficult child, and the impact it had on you or him. Try to treat this like a science experiment - just for this one week. </p><p></p><p>Turn the radio to his favorite station - watch his favorite show with him - play video games with him - take him to his favorite fast food place. Just BE. And just be with him. For one week. And document what happens. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and support,</p><p>Steely</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 239621, member: 3301"] Hey kjs........ So I have read the other posts and they have all given great advice, so I will not repeat it. I want to affirm what everyone has said. Given that - I want to give you some homework. YOU, not husband or difficult child, you. A) I want you to see that counselor every single week and only talk about YOU. Talk about what it feels like to be you, and live and walk in your shoes. You deserve someone to just listen to you, to be understood, to affirm you and your reality. B) I want you, just for one week, to completely disconnect from being difficult children parent. Just for one week, do not set limits, boundaries, or directives. Do not contact the school or teachers. The only way I want you to connect with your difficult child this ONE week is through casual conversation. Period. It will be everything you can do, to make 'B' happen, I know. Everything in you will want to step in and take over, but do not allow that to happen. Take notes on every interaction you have with difficult child, and the impact it had on you or him. Try to treat this like a science experiment - just for this one week. Turn the radio to his favorite station - watch his favorite show with him - play video games with him - take him to his favorite fast food place. Just BE. And just be with him. For one week. And document what happens. Hugs and support, Steely [/QUOTE]
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