Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling a little down
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749831" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Busy just posted about a book she is reading that is remarkable, she says, "Gifts of Acceptance" by Miller. I am going to get it. </p><p></p><p>This is why I think this makes sense for both of us; I think our self-attacks really set us back. You are dealing not just with your sons' aggression and abuse but your own against you. I struggle with this too. Let's get the book. I am. </p><p>We place ourselves in situations that are guaranteed to be abusive. And then they are. And we react. And then we blame ourselves. What is wrong with this picture? </p><p>This is infuriating me. That he commands. And then abuses. Honestly. </p><p></p><p>I think we must have similar psychology. Because I end up in these same patterns. </p><p></p><p>We are the ones with all of the power and all of the resources. And yet, what happens is we end up in the lower down position in these relationships. Following orders.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to stick with what you said to your son about not buying gas, and blocking his calls. You need not give him any explanation or justification. Even though it was said in anger, it is a correct and true and right thing to do. To stop. And blocking him is right too. Block him. Text him where and when he can get his laundry and do no more. (Preferably somewhere neutral and not your house. Or have somebody else take the laundry to him.) Son has to be responsible for something. He needs to be responsible both for the way he is treating you. And he needs to responsible to meet his own needs. But this is not a judgement of you. Or me. It's a statement of fact. </p><p></p><p>Here I am giving orders too. So let me back up. What would make you comfortable? What do you want to do?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749831, member: 18958"] Busy just posted about a book she is reading that is remarkable, she says, "Gifts of Acceptance" by Miller. I am going to get it. This is why I think this makes sense for both of us; I think our self-attacks really set us back. You are dealing not just with your sons' aggression and abuse but your own against you. I struggle with this too. Let's get the book. I am. We place ourselves in situations that are guaranteed to be abusive. And then they are. And we react. And then we blame ourselves. What is wrong with this picture? This is infuriating me. That he commands. And then abuses. Honestly. I think we must have similar psychology. Because I end up in these same patterns. We are the ones with all of the power and all of the resources. And yet, what happens is we end up in the lower down position in these relationships. Following orders. I think you need to stick with what you said to your son about not buying gas, and blocking his calls. You need not give him any explanation or justification. Even though it was said in anger, it is a correct and true and right thing to do. To stop. And blocking him is right too. Block him. Text him where and when he can get his laundry and do no more. (Preferably somewhere neutral and not your house. Or have somebody else take the laundry to him.) Son has to be responsible for something. He needs to be responsible both for the way he is treating you. And he needs to responsible to meet his own needs. But this is not a judgement of you. Or me. It's a statement of fact. Here I am giving orders too. So let me back up. What would make you comfortable? What do you want to do? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Feeling a little down
Top