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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 749877" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>JayPee I can relate to those kinds of emails/texts/voice messages. They certainly do make you question yourself and also think your son might be so severely mentally handicapped in some way that he really does need your help. </p><p></p><p>I cut my son off except for things like medical copay's. He's just found other people to take care of him for the most part. And he's no better with me, still very entitled and angry. But at least he has a roof over his head. </p><p></p><p>What I struggle with is mourning the loss of my son and accepting my actions are for me, not to teach him to become a civilized member of society. He was taught to be a civilized member of society, he choose a different existence. </p><p></p><p>When I first started to put my foot down I spelled out very clearly what I would and would not provide. And I was able to put someone else in the middle who he could call and rant at. I slowly disconnected from him more and more physically as he continued to show me he was only going to be abusive towards me. </p><p></p><p>Now I'm working on disconnecting emotionally and mentally from him. I'm working on accepting that I've done all I could and taking abuse from someone just allows them to practice the abuse more. If nothing else maybe my son will learn everyone has their limit and to watch himself even with the ones who care for him the most who he figures he has power over. </p><p></p><p>Be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up like he's doing. Maybe you can try to get a plan in place and a buffer between you and him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 749877, member: 22840"] JayPee I can relate to those kinds of emails/texts/voice messages. They certainly do make you question yourself and also think your son might be so severely mentally handicapped in some way that he really does need your help. I cut my son off except for things like medical copay's. He's just found other people to take care of him for the most part. And he's no better with me, still very entitled and angry. But at least he has a roof over his head. What I struggle with is mourning the loss of my son and accepting my actions are for me, not to teach him to become a civilized member of society. He was taught to be a civilized member of society, he choose a different existence. When I first started to put my foot down I spelled out very clearly what I would and would not provide. And I was able to put someone else in the middle who he could call and rant at. I slowly disconnected from him more and more physically as he continued to show me he was only going to be abusive towards me. Now I'm working on disconnecting emotionally and mentally from him. I'm working on accepting that I've done all I could and taking abuse from someone just allows them to practice the abuse more. If nothing else maybe my son will learn everyone has their limit and to watch himself even with the ones who care for him the most who he figures he has power over. Be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up like he's doing. Maybe you can try to get a plan in place and a buffer between you and him. [/QUOTE]
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