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Feeling a little sad...
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<blockquote data-quote="mamamia" data-source="post: 140090" data-attributes="member: 4943"><p>I just got a call from one of my good friends who told me about a book another friend of ours (and parent to an ADD daughter) is reading about positive reinforcement and behavior. I don't know the name of the book - my friend is going to find out and let me know later - but the gist of it is that ADHD and ODD like behaviors can be cured by the parent being nicer to the child...this friend of a friend has taken her daughter off all medications and apparently just being super sweet to her daughter has "cured" her of all her behaviors.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>I've never posted on this board before but I've read it many times. I'm posting this morning because the conversation with my friend made me so, so sad. I feel like she thinks my son is the way he is (severe ADHD coupled with ODD) because I'm mean to him. I know I'm reading too much into our conversation but it makes me feel like I should just shut up about my problems when I'm around my friends.</p><p>I started a full time job in the fall and I haven't seen them much. It's spring break for our kids now so I've seen them more over the past few days than I have for quite some time. 2 days ago we all went on a hike and my son was disobeying me and other people who were telling him not to do a certain thing...so I spoke to him in a commanding mom voice and he listened...this happened again a little while later and I had to do it a second time. I know they all think I'm a mean mom. Yesterday we were out with friends and my son asked me if we could eat lunch at a restaurant. When I told him we were eating at home he kicked me. I gave him time-out. I told another friend about it and she said her 3-year-old acts the same way...but my son is almost 6. </p><p>I know I'm babbling but I just feel very sad and isolated and I think I need to stop talking to my friends about my problems because my feelings just end up getting hurt. My husband and I try to always give our son the benefit of the doubt and to speak to him nicely at least the first time around. We also try to ignore the initial "no" since sometimes after he yells that at us we'll get an "okay." But sometimes we have to be firm with him. I don't think it's okay to be disrespectful to a parent, and every day he's disrespectful with us. But people don't see this. He usually acts ok in public and he is much better behaved with others than with us. They just don't see what we see...and yet I feel like they feel they can pass judgement.</p><p>m</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mamamia, post: 140090, member: 4943"] I just got a call from one of my good friends who told me about a book another friend of ours (and parent to an ADD daughter) is reading about positive reinforcement and behavior. I don't know the name of the book - my friend is going to find out and let me know later - but the gist of it is that ADHD and ODD like behaviors can be cured by the parent being nicer to the child...this friend of a friend has taken her daughter off all medications and apparently just being super sweet to her daughter has "cured" her of all her behaviors. Sigh. I've never posted on this board before but I've read it many times. I'm posting this morning because the conversation with my friend made me so, so sad. I feel like she thinks my son is the way he is (severe ADHD coupled with ODD) because I'm mean to him. I know I'm reading too much into our conversation but it makes me feel like I should just shut up about my problems when I'm around my friends. I started a full time job in the fall and I haven't seen them much. It's spring break for our kids now so I've seen them more over the past few days than I have for quite some time. 2 days ago we all went on a hike and my son was disobeying me and other people who were telling him not to do a certain thing...so I spoke to him in a commanding mom voice and he listened...this happened again a little while later and I had to do it a second time. I know they all think I'm a mean mom. Yesterday we were out with friends and my son asked me if we could eat lunch at a restaurant. When I told him we were eating at home he kicked me. I gave him time-out. I told another friend about it and she said her 3-year-old acts the same way...but my son is almost 6. I know I'm babbling but I just feel very sad and isolated and I think I need to stop talking to my friends about my problems because my feelings just end up getting hurt. My husband and I try to always give our son the benefit of the doubt and to speak to him nicely at least the first time around. We also try to ignore the initial "no" since sometimes after he yells that at us we'll get an "okay." But sometimes we have to be firm with him. I don't think it's okay to be disrespectful to a parent, and every day he's disrespectful with us. But people don't see this. He usually acts ok in public and he is much better behaved with others than with us. They just don't see what we see...and yet I feel like they feel they can pass judgement. m [/QUOTE]
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