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Parent Emeritus
Feeling alone......need support
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 662177" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Plymouth mom, I'm glad you are here.</p><p></p><p>I know you are trying to help your son and it sounds like he is trying to help himself. </p><p></p><p>Is there a timeline for his getting finished with school and any kind of pathway to a job he will qualify for because of the school after that?</p><p></p><p>If it's all fuzzy what about having a talk and establishing even clearer boundaries with him? Boundaries about helping around the house, even paying a very small amount of rent? The point of that is not the money itself but what is signifies for you and for him: an assumption that he needs to pay his own way in life either at your house or somewhere else. </p><p></p><p>It is so much harder when they are Right There in front of us every single day. I really need time and space from both my sons and I am sure they do as well from me.</p><p></p><p>If you can start having "how are we doing here together" conversations periodically--for you and for him--that might keep the air clearer.</p><p></p><p>Then start adding some things to YOUR life, like perhaps exercising with a group, getting into a book club, whatever appeals to YOU to build some new relationships and friends about things you are interested in. Just do one thing different.</p><p></p><p>I have my own business too and have for 26 years. I work out of my home and I can start to feel very isolated sometimes if I don't plan to do some things to get me out and about. Almost every weekday, I leave the house to exercise with a group about 6 am. It is a really good start to the day and gets me going.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted. We care and we understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 662177, member: 17542"] Hi Plymouth mom, I'm glad you are here. I know you are trying to help your son and it sounds like he is trying to help himself. Is there a timeline for his getting finished with school and any kind of pathway to a job he will qualify for because of the school after that? If it's all fuzzy what about having a talk and establishing even clearer boundaries with him? Boundaries about helping around the house, even paying a very small amount of rent? The point of that is not the money itself but what is signifies for you and for him: an assumption that he needs to pay his own way in life either at your house or somewhere else. It is so much harder when they are Right There in front of us every single day. I really need time and space from both my sons and I am sure they do as well from me. If you can start having "how are we doing here together" conversations periodically--for you and for him--that might keep the air clearer. Then start adding some things to YOUR life, like perhaps exercising with a group, getting into a book club, whatever appeals to YOU to build some new relationships and friends about things you are interested in. Just do one thing different. I have my own business too and have for 26 years. I work out of my home and I can start to feel very isolated sometimes if I don't plan to do some things to get me out and about. Almost every weekday, I leave the house to exercise with a group about 6 am. It is a really good start to the day and gets me going. Keep us posted. We care and we understand. [/QUOTE]
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