I am amazed at how much better I feel after joining and getting support from this site. My 28 y/o son was always a Difficult Child but the substances and doing poorly in school started around 13. Through the years I have tried a variety of things to help me get through it. Used to exercise much more but the battle with him wore me out, completed grad school, went to Alanon had a therapist on and off sometimes changed them went to spiritual groups joined other online sites and for awhile was part of a parents supporting parents weekly support group for moms of heroin addicts. It all helped but reading on this site over and over again about not enabling and letting go really helped. I think it is the repetition of reading it.
All of your suggestions are great. Yes my son does contribute financially and has for sometime. Sometimes it is a struggle with certain chores but other times he does a good job. He mows the lawn sorts the recyclables and recently trimed all the hedges. Of course I would like it done more often. I believe he does it every 3 weeks so it starts to look overgrown, BUT BEFORE HE WOULD NOT DO IT AT ALL. His attitude seems a little bit better. Last summer he would set aside some time to go hiking in the state forest near the house and that helped alot. He has been starting up with that again. So I know you know how it is. He is doing ok right now but usually has a difficult time with maintaining. I will have to observe and see how it goes.
Also will think about a plan of how long he can stay with me if he is able to pass his college courses. thank you
