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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 390893"><p>I agree with what you say... in this case we did deliver various consequences to our son. This mom and I went through a lot together and she knew consequences we imposed. Now he is in rehab out of state and in his process of recovery he called his ex-girlfriend to express how he had hurt her and I think to make amends.... in the process he revealed some things she did not know and was upset by them. I hear about this from her mom and so really I am not involved in this part of the process and it would be crazy for me to impose consequences on stuff that happened between them a couple of years ago.</p><p></p><p>Since i wrote originally I did hear from the mom and she and I are ok... we are still friends. I really cant do any more for my son or consequences for his actions. He has gotten major major consequences himself from the court and is now having to deal with them so really the ball is out of my court. And really there is not much you can impose on a 19 year old child who is not living with you. You can clearly decide not to enable them.... and I thnk just hitting reset is a form of enabling them. I am pretty committed at this point to not enabling him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 390893"] I agree with what you say... in this case we did deliver various consequences to our son. This mom and I went through a lot together and she knew consequences we imposed. Now he is in rehab out of state and in his process of recovery he called his ex-girlfriend to express how he had hurt her and I think to make amends.... in the process he revealed some things she did not know and was upset by them. I hear about this from her mom and so really I am not involved in this part of the process and it would be crazy for me to impose consequences on stuff that happened between them a couple of years ago. Since i wrote originally I did hear from the mom and she and I are ok... we are still friends. I really cant do any more for my son or consequences for his actions. He has gotten major major consequences himself from the court and is now having to deal with them so really the ball is out of my court. And really there is not much you can impose on a 19 year old child who is not living with you. You can clearly decide not to enable them.... and I thnk just hitting reset is a form of enabling them. I am pretty committed at this point to not enabling him. [/QUOTE]
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