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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 683870" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>HI Colleen</p><p>Know that <em>you are going to be alright</em>. I think it is normal to have these feelings of sadness, even despair at times, sometimes lasting longer than others. It happens to me also. I felt so fragile for days / weeks, just wanting relief from the almost physical pain I felt in my heart. Knowing that it was OK to feel that way, and soak in it for a while was needed, and that it would pass eventually ~ it kept me going. Sometimes I was on the verge of tears / weepy for days at a time. At those times, just reading the encouragement from warriors on this sight, re-reading the detachment article, and knowing that processing all these feelings was necessary for not only myself to grow, but also to release my son, kept me going day by day.</p><p></p><p>For myself, I have found that when I think I am just feeling too tired to do anything, like I just cannot move and really sometimes cannot even stay awake, it brings me back to feeling normal if I just push the effort to force myself to just keep doing whatever else routine tasks need to be done, such as get up and do the dishes, prepare my lunch for work, or do the laundry, or pay the bills, walk the dog, take shower, etc. ~ just get on with life and routine focus on the mundane. Take one day at a time with what needs to be done in life.</p><p></p><p>Granted, this is not easy, and as an old grannie, I have more decades of practice at it, but you will come through these times of feeling down, of experiencing the sorrow that comes with the necessary losses of letting go of the disappointments when our children do not meet our dreams and expectations and hopes we had for them.</p><p></p><p>This is good. Your children are young, and will be forced to develop their responsibility and ambition once they are out of the house. Perhaps you need to consider asking them to move out. Change is needed, and it is better not to delay it. I waited too long in my own situation, and should have enforced boundaries much sooner. Some support from you may still be needed, but it will be better for all (for you and for them) for the boys to be out of the home and moving on with freedom to spread their wings.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong. One day at a time. You are not alone. Take care ... Here's a link to the detachment article from the PE forum, if you have not yet read it: </p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz44nRr1VEq" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz44nRr1VEq</a></p><p></p><p>~ Kalahou</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 683870, member: 19617"] HI Colleen Know that [I]you are going to be alright[/I]. I think it is normal to have these feelings of sadness, even despair at times, sometimes lasting longer than others. It happens to me also. I felt so fragile for days / weeks, just wanting relief from the almost physical pain I felt in my heart. Knowing that it was OK to feel that way, and soak in it for a while was needed, and that it would pass eventually ~ it kept me going. Sometimes I was on the verge of tears / weepy for days at a time. At those times, just reading the encouragement from warriors on this sight, re-reading the detachment article, and knowing that processing all these feelings was necessary for not only myself to grow, but also to release my son, kept me going day by day. For myself, I have found that when I think I am just feeling too tired to do anything, like I just cannot move and really sometimes cannot even stay awake, it brings me back to feeling normal if I just push the effort to force myself to just keep doing whatever else routine tasks need to be done, such as get up and do the dishes, prepare my lunch for work, or do the laundry, or pay the bills, walk the dog, take shower, etc. ~ just get on with life and routine focus on the mundane. Take one day at a time with what needs to be done in life. Granted, this is not easy, and as an old grannie, I have more decades of practice at it, but you will come through these times of feeling down, of experiencing the sorrow that comes with the necessary losses of letting go of the disappointments when our children do not meet our dreams and expectations and hopes we had for them. This is good. Your children are young, and will be forced to develop their responsibility and ambition once they are out of the house. Perhaps you need to consider asking them to move out. Change is needed, and it is better not to delay it. I waited too long in my own situation, and should have enforced boundaries much sooner. Some support from you may still be needed, but it will be better for all (for you and for them) for the boys to be out of the home and moving on with freedom to spread their wings. Stay strong. One day at a time. You are not alone. Take care ... Here's a link to the detachment article from the PE forum, if you have not yet read it: [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz44nRr1VEq[/URL] ~ Kalahou [/QUOTE]
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