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Feeling guilty again
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 723578" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Loulou. </p><p>I 2nd and 3rd and 4th...You do matter. RE- this is great advice from one who has walked it out.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If there's anything I have learned here and at al anon, it's just this. I matter too.</p><p> I would feel bad, thinking my son had no one else to rant to and be there over and over. It was killing me. Now I block his calls, texts, and call him back if and when I choose. I wait on purpose in order to decrease the probability of histrionics. Everything's not an emergency and it certainly is not my emergency. This pulling back was very hard but necessary if I was going to live. When you come to the point of wishing your life was over just to escape their poor choices, it's pretty bad. </p><p>In our case,<em> our son </em>is in an abusive relationship for 7+yrs. Don't get me wrong, he certainly can dole it out too. but to keep going back to someone who takes such advantage of him (financially) and then continue to complain about it? </p><p>Now, my go to comment is "I'm sure you'll figure this out", if he doesn't get the cue, I then say "I can't listen to your drama" He usually then gets loud and mad and that response simply fortifies my reasoning.</p><p>You don't have to take it. You matter too. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 723578, member: 20054"] Hi Loulou. I 2nd and 3rd and 4th...You do matter. RE- this is great advice from one who has walked it out. If there's anything I have learned here and at al anon, it's just this. I matter too. I would feel bad, thinking my son had no one else to rant to and be there over and over. It was killing me. Now I block his calls, texts, and call him back if and when I choose. I wait on purpose in order to decrease the probability of histrionics. Everything's not an emergency and it certainly is not my emergency. This pulling back was very hard but necessary if I was going to live. When you come to the point of wishing your life was over just to escape their poor choices, it's pretty bad. In our case,[I] our son [/I]is in an abusive relationship for 7+yrs. Don't get me wrong, he certainly can dole it out too. but to keep going back to someone who takes such advantage of him (financially) and then continue to complain about it? Now, my go to comment is "I'm sure you'll figure this out", if he doesn't get the cue, I then say "I can't listen to your drama" He usually then gets loud and mad and that response simply fortifies my reasoning. You don't have to take it. You matter too. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling guilty again
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