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Feeling guilty again
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 723580" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You most certainly matter. You matter a LOT!!!!! It is 110% past time to disconnect from your daughter's everlasting conflama!! (conflict + drama = conflama. It is the best and only word to describe the garbage that gets tossed all over us like a bucket of vomit every single time the difficult person in our life thinks we might have achieved a moment of peace and quiet.)</p><p></p><p>Follow the advice to limit the amount of time she can talk to you each call and each day. You have things to do. You were not put on this earth to run your life for her convenience. She will ramp up her conflama, but you need to hold steady. If you hold steady, she will realize you mean it and will eventually find someone else to throw those buckets of conflama all over. </p><p></p><p>If she is old enough to have a child, she had better grow the heck up and stop dumping all her problems on you, hadn't she? She isn't going to change until you do. This is working for her. She is getting her attention fix from you. She gets all of the support you have given her, plus the attention and the knowledge that she is putting your life on hold with absolutely no notice every single time she calls. She gets you to drop everything for hours on end! That must give her quite the sense of power, even if she doesn't realize it. </p><p></p><p>I would hang up at the first sign of abuse during phone calls. I would also give her a time limit for calls and let her know you have set a timer. Figure out how long you want to spend saying goodbye to your sister before the call. Then set the timer a second time after it goes off the first time. This way your sister cannot drag the goodbyes out forever. You will have the timer telling you that you must get hang up. If your daughter is angry that you won't spend 5 hours on the phone with her, isn't that her problem?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 723580, member: 1233"] You most certainly matter. You matter a LOT!!!!! It is 110% past time to disconnect from your daughter's everlasting conflama!! (conflict + drama = conflama. It is the best and only word to describe the garbage that gets tossed all over us like a bucket of vomit every single time the difficult person in our life thinks we might have achieved a moment of peace and quiet.) Follow the advice to limit the amount of time she can talk to you each call and each day. You have things to do. You were not put on this earth to run your life for her convenience. She will ramp up her conflama, but you need to hold steady. If you hold steady, she will realize you mean it and will eventually find someone else to throw those buckets of conflama all over. If she is old enough to have a child, she had better grow the heck up and stop dumping all her problems on you, hadn't she? She isn't going to change until you do. This is working for her. She is getting her attention fix from you. She gets all of the support you have given her, plus the attention and the knowledge that she is putting your life on hold with absolutely no notice every single time she calls. She gets you to drop everything for hours on end! That must give her quite the sense of power, even if she doesn't realize it. I would hang up at the first sign of abuse during phone calls. I would also give her a time limit for calls and let her know you have set a timer. Figure out how long you want to spend saying goodbye to your sister before the call. Then set the timer a second time after it goes off the first time. This way your sister cannot drag the goodbyes out forever. You will have the timer telling you that you must get hang up. If your daughter is angry that you won't spend 5 hours on the phone with her, isn't that her problem? [/QUOTE]
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