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Feeling guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 367703" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi All,</p><p>difficult child 1, E, called me today and asked for $50.00 for food. I refused. I feel like ****. I think it is a no-win situation. If I give her money (and I never know if it is really for what she claims it is) I feel like I am being used. If I don't, I worry that she really needs it and I have refused. </p><p></p><p>She supposedly is working day jobs to pay for food and said there was no work today. I asked what happened to the money she has already earned and she says she has spent it on food. I told her that her lies have led us here--me refusing to help. She said she realized I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. We parted kind of on bad terms. Then she called me back and said she didn't want us to be on bad terms because she worries that I'll die and she doesn't want to leave things like that. This is familiar--and maybe true since her dad did die and she has that as a reality. So I said, "Okay, I hope you figure things out" and we said goodbye.</p><p></p><p>My husband says he feels exactly as I do--that it is so hard to know what to do. We don't want to enable her but we don't want to see her go hungry. He pointed out too that even if I got her a gift card to a grocery store that she could get booze and cigarettes most likely if she wanted to.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, just thought I would come to my friends--so many of you have been there done that!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 367703, member: 3450"] Hi All, difficult child 1, E, called me today and asked for $50.00 for food. I refused. I feel like ****. I think it is a no-win situation. If I give her money (and I never know if it is really for what she claims it is) I feel like I am being used. If I don't, I worry that she really needs it and I have refused. She supposedly is working day jobs to pay for food and said there was no work today. I asked what happened to the money she has already earned and she says she has spent it on food. I told her that her lies have led us here--me refusing to help. She said she realized I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. We parted kind of on bad terms. Then she called me back and said she didn't want us to be on bad terms because she worries that I'll die and she doesn't want to leave things like that. This is familiar--and maybe true since her dad did die and she has that as a reality. So I said, "Okay, I hope you figure things out" and we said goodbye. My husband says he feels exactly as I do--that it is so hard to know what to do. We don't want to enable her but we don't want to see her go hungry. He pointed out too that even if I got her a gift card to a grocery store that she could get booze and cigarettes most likely if she wanted to. Anyway, just thought I would come to my friends--so many of you have been there done that! Jane [/QUOTE]
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