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Feeling guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 368364" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>No, I don't think of her as a victim. I probably should have put that in quotes. It isn't "normal" to not trust your own offspring, or to have to make some of the choices we as parents of difficult child have to make in regards to our children. It does make me sad that I can't give my daughter the same trust I give my other children , like $5 for "tampons" because I figure she's putting it on on a blunt. It is a sad state. But definitely her choices have put her in the position she is in. It is disturbing, and sometimes sad to me, that she's made some of those choices and now has to live with them.</p><p></p><p>We all made bad decisions as teenagers, most do. Some learn from them quicker than others, and some struggle more than others and make decisions that impact them for the rest of their lives (like getting arrest records, etc.) so no matter how well they clean up it always follows them. It sucks. We aren't always who we are at 16-19, and some people are dramatically different. My husband has a slew of friends who made badbad decisions as teens and now, though they are wonderful human beings, they have restrictions on their career choices because of those decisions. It is unfortunate. But, they were hardheads and learned the hard way. I imagine without some of those consequences, they would not have grown as human beings, too. So there is that element.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 368364, member: 8620"] No, I don't think of her as a victim. I probably should have put that in quotes. It isn't "normal" to not trust your own offspring, or to have to make some of the choices we as parents of difficult child have to make in regards to our children. It does make me sad that I can't give my daughter the same trust I give my other children , like $5 for "tampons" because I figure she's putting it on on a blunt. It is a sad state. But definitely her choices have put her in the position she is in. It is disturbing, and sometimes sad to me, that she's made some of those choices and now has to live with them. We all made bad decisions as teenagers, most do. Some learn from them quicker than others, and some struggle more than others and make decisions that impact them for the rest of their lives (like getting arrest records, etc.) so no matter how well they clean up it always follows them. It sucks. We aren't always who we are at 16-19, and some people are dramatically different. My husband has a slew of friends who made badbad decisions as teens and now, though they are wonderful human beings, they have restrictions on their career choices because of those decisions. It is unfortunate. But, they were hardheads and learned the hard way. I imagine without some of those consequences, they would not have grown as human beings, too. So there is that element. [/QUOTE]
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