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feeling I am to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 645387" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Only all of us. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I'm pretty sure that some of us have gotten to the point where they don't blame themselves. I'm sure some of us think about it all the time.</p><p> </p><p>Perfect example: I have a work acquaintance who was very strict and protective. She and I had a talk once when my son was about 14 and hers was 13. My husband had given our son "the talk" after I (literally) caught him with his pants down - solo. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" /> He was just starting to date. Both of us having boys, we discussed it...</p><p> </p><p>I wasn't given details (thank God) but I know that the sex (with other people lol) part was, "You're too young. We don't approve. If you decide not to listen, use protection." My friend was AGAST! Why, we were giving him permission!!! No...we weren't. We told him also, "Don't drink. You are too young. It's harmful. It's illegal. BUT, if you choose to disobey us on this, don't drive or get in a car with someone driving. Call us and we will come get you. We can't guarantee there will be no consequences, but we can say that you'll be alive and well." In my friend's eyes, we might as well have bought him a keg. Their son was simply told NO! Don't have sex until marriage! Don't drink! Don't do drugs!</p><p> </p><p>I thought our son would be responsible and we were being realistic. I thought she was being too restrictive and her son would rebel.</p><p> </p><p>Her son is a straight A student and an eagle scout. My son? Well, read my signature. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p><p> </p><p>I have a dear friend who has two daughters, just a couple years apart in age. The youngest is <em>perfect</em>! Smart, successful, married to a nice fella, sweet baby...never gave her mom a moment of pain. Thank goodness for that, because the oldest has done nothing but. Drugs, thefts, her mother's life has actually been threatened by drug dealers because of debts the daughter owes...she's not even allowed in her home anymore. These girls were treated exactly the same. There's no sense in it. </p><p> </p><p>There is no right or wrong. We do the best we can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 645387, member: 17309"] Only all of us. :) I'm pretty sure that some of us have gotten to the point where they don't blame themselves. I'm sure some of us think about it all the time. Perfect example: I have a work acquaintance who was very strict and protective. She and I had a talk once when my son was about 14 and hers was 13. My husband had given our son "the talk" after I (literally) caught him with his pants down - solo. :eek: He was just starting to date. Both of us having boys, we discussed it... I wasn't given details (thank God) but I know that the sex (with other people lol) part was, "You're too young. We don't approve. If you decide not to listen, use protection." My friend was AGAST! Why, we were giving him permission!!! No...we weren't. We told him also, "Don't drink. You are too young. It's harmful. It's illegal. BUT, if you choose to disobey us on this, don't drive or get in a car with someone driving. Call us and we will come get you. We can't guarantee there will be no consequences, but we can say that you'll be alive and well." In my friend's eyes, we might as well have bought him a keg. Their son was simply told NO! Don't have sex until marriage! Don't drink! Don't do drugs! I thought our son would be responsible and we were being realistic. I thought she was being too restrictive and her son would rebel. Her son is a straight A student and an eagle scout. My son? Well, read my signature. :rolleyes: I have a dear friend who has two daughters, just a couple years apart in age. The youngest is [I]perfect[/I]! Smart, successful, married to a nice fella, sweet baby...never gave her mom a moment of pain. Thank goodness for that, because the oldest has done nothing but. Drugs, thefts, her mother's life has actually been threatened by drug dealers because of debts the daughter owes...she's not even allowed in her home anymore. These girls were treated exactly the same. There's no sense in it. There is no right or wrong. We do the best we can. [/QUOTE]
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