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Feeling sad and anxious today
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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 749080" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Beta, First of all I hear so much love in your post. I have been where you are. It is so hard. I cried at least 3 times a day... I must tell you that the best and only thing that worked with my very wayward daughter was to silence myself to her. I completely cut contact for 3 months. My wayward daughter could smell me like a predator, when I was weak or just wanting the best for her. She used and abused me like a predator and had total disrespect for me. I figured I could erase myself from her life to see how that would feel. She did not think I could do it since I was such a weak person to be used over and over again like an old dish rag. I was that old dish rag for many years... Not anymore..And like a predator she can smell that I have gained strength. As I detached I pictured her as a predator sucking the ever living life out of me. To save my life, my dignity and self esteem, I had to cut ties. Hardest thing I had to ever do but it needed to be done..I was in extreme agony when I did it but it was less agonizing than the constant crap dished out from her. On an abuse scale from 1-10 my daughter was a 25. I was a bereaved parent, grieving the loss of my only son and she thought it was the best time to harm me hard. Follow your own heart, do only what you can. One of the reasons I put up with so much is that I was very afraid she would die. Our relationship was a living death, and I looked the possibility straight in the face... Yes while we are estranged she could die, or I could die but somehow the abuse had to end and she was not going to so I stepped away.. Abuse to me felt like a death, actually worse than a death because she was alive and choosing to harm in such an evil way. It is horrible. Make it end, sever the relationship with abuse, cut ties, tell him to F off. Take a deep breathe and know you did all you could. Love him from afar, pray for his well being. Do not let him continue to damage you, your health is important.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 749080, member: 22416"] Beta, First of all I hear so much love in your post. I have been where you are. It is so hard. I cried at least 3 times a day... I must tell you that the best and only thing that worked with my very wayward daughter was to silence myself to her. I completely cut contact for 3 months. My wayward daughter could smell me like a predator, when I was weak or just wanting the best for her. She used and abused me like a predator and had total disrespect for me. I figured I could erase myself from her life to see how that would feel. She did not think I could do it since I was such a weak person to be used over and over again like an old dish rag. I was that old dish rag for many years... Not anymore..And like a predator she can smell that I have gained strength. As I detached I pictured her as a predator sucking the ever living life out of me. To save my life, my dignity and self esteem, I had to cut ties. Hardest thing I had to ever do but it needed to be done..I was in extreme agony when I did it but it was less agonizing than the constant crap dished out from her. On an abuse scale from 1-10 my daughter was a 25. I was a bereaved parent, grieving the loss of my only son and she thought it was the best time to harm me hard. Follow your own heart, do only what you can. One of the reasons I put up with so much is that I was very afraid she would die. Our relationship was a living death, and I looked the possibility straight in the face... Yes while we are estranged she could die, or I could die but somehow the abuse had to end and she was not going to so I stepped away.. Abuse to me felt like a death, actually worse than a death because she was alive and choosing to harm in such an evil way. It is horrible. Make it end, sever the relationship with abuse, cut ties, tell him to F off. Take a deep breathe and know you did all you could. Love him from afar, pray for his well being. Do not let him continue to damage you, your health is important. [/QUOTE]
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