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Feeling sad and anxious today
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 749082" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Thank you Tanya for the kind words. I sure don't feel like I'm moving forward, but I definitely feel like I'm being emotionally held hostage. </p><p> New Start, I'm so sorry about how you're daughter treated you and the pain you have and are suffering. Your love for her is very clear in your words. </p><p></p><p> I have sent several more text messages today, still continuing to beg him to leave Denver and just come and stay, even for just the summer. He is on the brink of disaster, and I told him that. I am so afraid that he will end up being arrested and sent to jail. He is very flippant about that, thinks it's no big deal. He continues to refuse and continues to heap abuse on me/us as parents--how we've let him down, that we're sh***y people, that if something happens its our fault because we didn't "do something" (i.e. give him money) when he needed it, etc. </p><p></p><p>At this point, I don't know that I even want to have any relationship with him or any contact. He has destroyed our relationship pretty much. It's only because I remember him before he developed Bipolar traits that I keep reaching out. Part of me wants to give up and just completely detach and only pray for him; part of me keeps trying to reach him. At times, I feel like I'm at my breaking point. </p><p></p><p>I called our EAP program today, to see what type of help they could offer as far as counseling. Turns out the only thing they offer is free telephone counseling from an assigned counselor. Nevertheless, I've made an appointment for July 10. Maybe it will help; maybe not, but I'm going to give it a try. My husband is struggling just as much as I am and I don't want to burden him with my feelings. I have one friend with whom I can really be honest but she lives in my former state and we aren't able to talk frequently. I can't confide too much with people in our church. I just need someone to give me some counsel about what to do, about what is right, etc. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. It always helps to put this down in print, especially because I know that the people reading it know perfectly well what I'm talking about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 749082, member: 22597"] Thank you Tanya for the kind words. I sure don't feel like I'm moving forward, but I definitely feel like I'm being emotionally held hostage. New Start, I'm so sorry about how you're daughter treated you and the pain you have and are suffering. Your love for her is very clear in your words. I have sent several more text messages today, still continuing to beg him to leave Denver and just come and stay, even for just the summer. He is on the brink of disaster, and I told him that. I am so afraid that he will end up being arrested and sent to jail. He is very flippant about that, thinks it's no big deal. He continues to refuse and continues to heap abuse on me/us as parents--how we've let him down, that we're sh***y people, that if something happens its our fault because we didn't "do something" (i.e. give him money) when he needed it, etc. At this point, I don't know that I even want to have any relationship with him or any contact. He has destroyed our relationship pretty much. It's only because I remember him before he developed Bipolar traits that I keep reaching out. Part of me wants to give up and just completely detach and only pray for him; part of me keeps trying to reach him. At times, I feel like I'm at my breaking point. I called our EAP program today, to see what type of help they could offer as far as counseling. Turns out the only thing they offer is free telephone counseling from an assigned counselor. Nevertheless, I've made an appointment for July 10. Maybe it will help; maybe not, but I'm going to give it a try. My husband is struggling just as much as I am and I don't want to burden him with my feelings. I have one friend with whom I can really be honest but she lives in my former state and we aren't able to talk frequently. I can't confide too much with people in our church. I just need someone to give me some counsel about what to do, about what is right, etc. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. It always helps to put this down in print, especially because I know that the people reading it know perfectly well what I'm talking about. [/QUOTE]
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