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Feeling sad and discouraged
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 757174" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>JayPee, I read your response yesterday afternoon but didn't have time to respond just then. I'm at work but will take a moment now. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree that it may take years for him to see how important family is; sometimes people are middle-aged before they realize it. I hope that it won't be like that, but I realize it might; or he might never realize it. </p><p>I do want it badly and I have seen this as an opportunity to make it better, but I know I can't force him to want to have a relationship with us. He doesn't want a relationship with anybody right now actually. For me, I have determined that for however long he is here with us, I'm going to do my best to show kindness and patience with him, despite how unkind and self-centered he is--mainly for my own sake. I just don't want to feel regret later, like I could have or should have done things differently. This is mainly for own peace of mind, for whatever happens in the future. He does things that annoy me but, for now, I'm going to "let them go" and try to concentrate on the important thing--my relationship with him. Not easy to do, of course. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, you are absolutely right. I truly did not think we would see him again because he was adamant that he would never come here, and he refused to see me when I was in Denver in October. And yet, here he is. I'm praying that he will change his mind about moving with us, just as he changed his mind about coming here. But it's not in my hands or control. </p><p></p><p>Good quote--I will remember this. </p><p></p><p>I hope you are right. But it's just so exhausting to think about this drama continuing into our future. </p><p></p><p>On a positive note, things were better last night. I had just a little bit of conversation with him, and he and my husband had quite a bit of conversation. Fortunately, Josh likes sports, especially football, so he and my husband can "bond" over football talk, which is what happened. So, before he went into his room, he at least did talk to us a bit, and the tension was diminished somewhat. We just have to "handle him with kid gloves" in what we say and when we say it. He really cannot have relationships with people right now; his mood disorder, or whatever he has, just doesn't allow it. </p><p></p><p>To the rest of you who responded--thank you for your concern and willingness to speak into this and for "listening" to me. Posting my thoughts always helps diminish the pain a bit. Pain that is shared is often less heavy to carry. May you each know God's strength and peace today for whatever you are dealing with today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 757174, member: 22597"] JayPee, I read your response yesterday afternoon but didn't have time to respond just then. I'm at work but will take a moment now. I agree that it may take years for him to see how important family is; sometimes people are middle-aged before they realize it. I hope that it won't be like that, but I realize it might; or he might never realize it. I do want it badly and I have seen this as an opportunity to make it better, but I know I can't force him to want to have a relationship with us. He doesn't want a relationship with anybody right now actually. For me, I have determined that for however long he is here with us, I'm going to do my best to show kindness and patience with him, despite how unkind and self-centered he is--mainly for my own sake. I just don't want to feel regret later, like I could have or should have done things differently. This is mainly for own peace of mind, for whatever happens in the future. He does things that annoy me but, for now, I'm going to "let them go" and try to concentrate on the important thing--my relationship with him. Not easy to do, of course. Yes, you are absolutely right. I truly did not think we would see him again because he was adamant that he would never come here, and he refused to see me when I was in Denver in October. And yet, here he is. I'm praying that he will change his mind about moving with us, just as he changed his mind about coming here. But it's not in my hands or control. Good quote--I will remember this. I hope you are right. But it's just so exhausting to think about this drama continuing into our future. On a positive note, things were better last night. I had just a little bit of conversation with him, and he and my husband had quite a bit of conversation. Fortunately, Josh likes sports, especially football, so he and my husband can "bond" over football talk, which is what happened. So, before he went into his room, he at least did talk to us a bit, and the tension was diminished somewhat. We just have to "handle him with kid gloves" in what we say and when we say it. He really cannot have relationships with people right now; his mood disorder, or whatever he has, just doesn't allow it. To the rest of you who responded--thank you for your concern and willingness to speak into this and for "listening" to me. Posting my thoughts always helps diminish the pain a bit. Pain that is shared is often less heavy to carry. May you each know God's strength and peace today for whatever you are dealing with today. [/QUOTE]
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