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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 663908" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Thank you for coming to my aid with those kind words of encouragement. I am truly blessed to find you! Even though you are going through you own tribulations...you always find time to help others.</p><p></p><p>You are right, Copa, to shelter my son when I was afraid should not be a part of love. You said that I was forced to act and take a stand. Yes, I do need to introduce myself to that woman. I would not call it bravery...more like extreme fear from my childhood with my schizophrenic sister. But, I need to 'meet' her. She helped me now, perhaps, even saving my youngest son's life, my life, AND I like to believe, my ill son's life!</p><p></p><p>COM, you are right that my youngest son's and my survival is a good starting point. Your visual with your son walking with God...beautiful, peaceful, and yes, very calming. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you that gift!</p><p></p><p>Apple, you are wonderful to remind me that medications have never been used on him. Yes, some are able to live reasonably normal lives with medications and therapy. Thank you for that very hopeful reminder.</p><p></p><p>Seeking, I DO plan on continuing to post and yes, it does help! You wonderful comrades are a Godsend!</p><p></p><p>InsaneChn, you are correct. I don't need tough love...nor does my son. I am going to get another therapist through my coverage. I already feel bad enough. I cannot let go that fast...maybe not ever. </p><p></p><p>I still have the small piece of jute that he wore around his waist as a belt. I bought him a nice black leather belt, but he never wore it...just a skinny piece of jute. When I came inside after he was gone, it was left on the antique dresser outside the door to his room. The police had grabbed and pulled him out of his room. He was in his boxers and they let him put on his jeans. Was he rushing or so scared that he did not use it? Or was he thinking, perhaps, that using jute as a belt would not appear 'normal'. Finding that small piece of jute broke my heart...</p><p></p><p>I know that my son, before he was taken hostage by this hellish, insidious disease, would not want us to be hurt or afraid. He would never, ever wish that upon us! He was the nicest and kindest son a mother could ever have. I never had a problem ONCE with him before his illness. Never. </p><p></p><p>I would not want him to have to realize that he had hurt his family in the throes of a psychotic episode, once he received treatment and got in touch with reality. </p><p></p><p>I saved my son from himself...and his possible actions. I saved my son from possibly going to prison. My son did not want to kill me. He kept saying to his voices that he didn't want to kill me. It must of been horrible for him. I can only imagine what his voices were saying to him. </p><p></p><p>Yes, I love to hold on very tight to the hope that he might be better out there. Yes, he is no longer in his confined room. I shouldn't think that he is more afraid out there...maybe it is a bit better. He has to be determined, strong, and focused. Maybe, hopefully, his voices are not able to torment him as much. Maybe, being out there, he is more busy. Going places and trying to plan for his future. </p><p></p><p>I have read that adult schizophrenics do well not living at home. They are not dependent on their mother and have a chance to feel better about themselves. It can't be healthy to have your mom as your only friend. I hope his 'adventure' is freeing on some level. </p><p></p><p>I get more worried at night...but I will try to be positive. He is like a child in many, many ways, but he is also a man in there somewhere with choices to make. I pray that God holds him safe in his arms and keeps him from harm.</p><p></p><p>Thank you to all...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 663908, member: 19245"] Thank you for coming to my aid with those kind words of encouragement. I am truly blessed to find you! Even though you are going through you own tribulations...you always find time to help others. You are right, Copa, to shelter my son when I was afraid should not be a part of love. You said that I was forced to act and take a stand. Yes, I do need to introduce myself to that woman. I would not call it bravery...more like extreme fear from my childhood with my schizophrenic sister. But, I need to 'meet' her. She helped me now, perhaps, even saving my youngest son's life, my life, AND I like to believe, my ill son's life! COM, you are right that my youngest son's and my survival is a good starting point. Your visual with your son walking with God...beautiful, peaceful, and yes, very calming. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you that gift! Apple, you are wonderful to remind me that medications have never been used on him. Yes, some are able to live reasonably normal lives with medications and therapy. Thank you for that very hopeful reminder. Seeking, I DO plan on continuing to post and yes, it does help! You wonderful comrades are a Godsend! InsaneChn, you are correct. I don't need tough love...nor does my son. I am going to get another therapist through my coverage. I already feel bad enough. I cannot let go that fast...maybe not ever. I still have the small piece of jute that he wore around his waist as a belt. I bought him a nice black leather belt, but he never wore it...just a skinny piece of jute. When I came inside after he was gone, it was left on the antique dresser outside the door to his room. The police had grabbed and pulled him out of his room. He was in his boxers and they let him put on his jeans. Was he rushing or so scared that he did not use it? Or was he thinking, perhaps, that using jute as a belt would not appear 'normal'. Finding that small piece of jute broke my heart... I know that my son, before he was taken hostage by this hellish, insidious disease, would not want us to be hurt or afraid. He would never, ever wish that upon us! He was the nicest and kindest son a mother could ever have. I never had a problem ONCE with him before his illness. Never. I would not want him to have to realize that he had hurt his family in the throes of a psychotic episode, once he received treatment and got in touch with reality. I saved my son from himself...and his possible actions. I saved my son from possibly going to prison. My son did not want to kill me. He kept saying to his voices that he didn't want to kill me. It must of been horrible for him. I can only imagine what his voices were saying to him. Yes, I love to hold on very tight to the hope that he might be better out there. Yes, he is no longer in his confined room. I shouldn't think that he is more afraid out there...maybe it is a bit better. He has to be determined, strong, and focused. Maybe, hopefully, his voices are not able to torment him as much. Maybe, being out there, he is more busy. Going places and trying to plan for his future. I have read that adult schizophrenics do well not living at home. They are not dependent on their mother and have a chance to feel better about themselves. It can't be healthy to have your mom as your only friend. I hope his 'adventure' is freeing on some level. I get more worried at night...but I will try to be positive. He is like a child in many, many ways, but he is also a man in there somewhere with choices to make. I pray that God holds him safe in his arms and keeps him from harm. Thank you to all... [/QUOTE]
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