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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 702366" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>My youngest son is in my town about 7 minutes away. I think that I am as close as he would want me. He wants to strike out on his own. It is time. He stayed an extra year and a half and set up the alarm, camera, and interior automatic light systems to make sure that I was safe.</p><p></p><p>I do not want the hassle and difficulty of selling my house. I have a lot of items that are saved up from my deceased family members and my sons growing up. I have many antiques from my mother. They give me comfort. It would be emotionally painful to downsize right now...or ever.</p><p></p><p>I also have some delayed maintenance and it is too difficult an order right now for me to complete. I am doing a lot of it on my own...bit by bit, to save money.</p><p></p><p>But the main reason is, yes, I don't feel safe because my son could come back in a psychotic state and hurt me. Yet, by my living here in the same house, he could come back and I would see my son again. A bit of a catch 22. I would want him to come back doing better, but with schizophrenia, if treatment is not sought, he could be worse. </p><p></p><p>There is a thing called Threat Control Override which means even with a restraining order in place, a schizophrenic person could still feel compelled to follow their strong violent command hallucinations from their voices. Their voices threaten their life or the lives of others. Sometimes, they could feel that their mother is the Devil or a spy and that they are saving the world.</p><p></p><p>My fears are from fifty years of trauma. The fear of my son are the most recent. I have dreams of him and when he walks towards me, I wake up screaming. It is sheer torture to both miss and fear your own flesh and blood at the same time.</p><p></p><p>My therapist said that I am still being a victim. But, I emphatically disagree. I am being a mother.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 702366, member: 19245"] My youngest son is in my town about 7 minutes away. I think that I am as close as he would want me. He wants to strike out on his own. It is time. He stayed an extra year and a half and set up the alarm, camera, and interior automatic light systems to make sure that I was safe. I do not want the hassle and difficulty of selling my house. I have a lot of items that are saved up from my deceased family members and my sons growing up. I have many antiques from my mother. They give me comfort. It would be emotionally painful to downsize right now...or ever. I also have some delayed maintenance and it is too difficult an order right now for me to complete. I am doing a lot of it on my own...bit by bit, to save money. But the main reason is, yes, I don't feel safe because my son could come back in a psychotic state and hurt me. Yet, by my living here in the same house, he could come back and I would see my son again. A bit of a catch 22. I would want him to come back doing better, but with schizophrenia, if treatment is not sought, he could be worse. There is a thing called Threat Control Override which means even with a restraining order in place, a schizophrenic person could still feel compelled to follow their strong violent command hallucinations from their voices. Their voices threaten their life or the lives of others. Sometimes, they could feel that their mother is the Devil or a spy and that they are saving the world. My fears are from fifty years of trauma. The fear of my son are the most recent. I have dreams of him and when he walks towards me, I wake up screaming. It is sheer torture to both miss and fear your own flesh and blood at the same time. My therapist said that I am still being a victim. But, I emphatically disagree. I am being a mother. [/QUOTE]
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