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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 707452" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>When I first read this, I understood it from your point of view. In terms of safety. In the sense that even your missing him can betray you, because he could well be a danger to you. And then like a hologram (or what do you call those pictures, figure ground, I think) I thought of him. How it must be for him to fear you. How lonely for him. Haunting. There is no peace for either of you, Feeling. I am sorry.</p><p></p><p>My son is coming around. For the past almost 18 months, little by little, he has been changing. And recently, even more so. He is still tortured, depressed, but he is able to be loving. We can enjoy each others company. We can almost be honest. I feel like he is a friend, and then I go too far and he tells me to not talk about personal stuff, like work, and how I felt with the prisoners. We have been working together in my house and taking walks together. When he is not here I miss him. I am grateful beyond words.</p><p></p><p>He went again to a residential treatment center, and sadly after 2 years it was determined that the insurance would not cover it. He loved this program. Felt the groups were entirely beneficial. He loved being busy all day and productive, but does not seem to know how to implement this by himself in his regular life. It saddens me he could not stay. I have offered to self-pay for his return but he rejects the help. It would be very expensive but I would do it.</p><p>In retrospect I think this was true for my son too. I do not believe my son is schizophrenic but I have feared he may be psychotic and just as quickly banish the thought. But my son is tortured and this as you know is a horrible thing to bear with your child. Sometimes I fear that I distanced myself from my son because I could not bear his pain. And this thought I banish even more quickly from my mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 707452, member: 18958"] When I first read this, I understood it from your point of view. In terms of safety. In the sense that even your missing him can betray you, because he could well be a danger to you. And then like a hologram (or what do you call those pictures, figure ground, I think) I thought of him. How it must be for him to fear you. How lonely for him. Haunting. There is no peace for either of you, Feeling. I am sorry. My son is coming around. For the past almost 18 months, little by little, he has been changing. And recently, even more so. He is still tortured, depressed, but he is able to be loving. We can enjoy each others company. We can almost be honest. I feel like he is a friend, and then I go too far and he tells me to not talk about personal stuff, like work, and how I felt with the prisoners. We have been working together in my house and taking walks together. When he is not here I miss him. I am grateful beyond words. He went again to a residential treatment center, and sadly after 2 years it was determined that the insurance would not cover it. He loved this program. Felt the groups were entirely beneficial. He loved being busy all day and productive, but does not seem to know how to implement this by himself in his regular life. It saddens me he could not stay. I have offered to self-pay for his return but he rejects the help. It would be very expensive but I would do it. In retrospect I think this was true for my son too. I do not believe my son is schizophrenic but I have feared he may be psychotic and just as quickly banish the thought. But my son is tortured and this as you know is a horrible thing to bear with your child. Sometimes I fear that I distanced myself from my son because I could not bear his pain. And this thought I banish even more quickly from my mind. [/QUOTE]
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