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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 707577" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I am sorry that it has been so very long.</p><p></p><p>I am still working hard at teaching and taking my last 2 classes to be at top salary. I am also applying for teaching seminars over the summer where my flight, lodging, and food would be covered.</p><p></p><p>I am forcing myself. I want to fall apart, but I need to continue. I need to support myself and, I feel, if I had more time on my hands I would perseverance constantly and fall deeper into the depths of despair and guilt.</p><p></p><p>I have been capped out of therapy, just when I am trying to over-come my chronic ptsd. I no longer keep lights on all over the house. I just keep on the hallway light and the bathroom light. I still have a strong startle reflex when I hear a thud...creak...bang...you name it.</p><p></p><p>I miss my brother horribly. I miss everyone. Each night I am alone. I hate it, but I am trying to adjust. I am just so very weary...to the bone weary. I am tired due to lack of sleep, but even in the rare occasion that I have enough sleep, I am still profoundly sad and emotionally tired.</p><p></p><p>My son is still only an hour away. He rotates from town to town, so he must still be homeless. I think of him when it is cold or it rains. I do not know how long his old car will hold out. He still spends very little. He is probably even thinner than he was.</p><p></p><p>My best friend lost her son to leukemia at age 10, after he fought bravely for 4 years. She is still on antidepressants to cope. I cannot take them due to my brain surgery and prior simple partial seizures, where you stay awake. I would have transitory loss of feeling. Funny...'feeling' is in my name.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, my friend says that it never goes away. You just have to carry on. My friend also has a 2 year old darling granddaughter who will need a liver transplant. She said that she never imagined she would be back at a hospital for a child fighting for their life.</p><p></p><p>When I find myself thinking of deprs see in scenarios, I just tell myself, "Not helpful".</p><p></p><p>Copa, I am so very happy for you. You have grown stronger and by being consistent, you are seeing improvements in your son. It is very good news!</p><p></p><p>Copa, my newest trend are peasant tops...very hippie retro.</p><p></p><p>I hope that this post finds people who garner respite from the hard trials that we face daily. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 707577, member: 19245"] I am sorry that it has been so very long. I am still working hard at teaching and taking my last 2 classes to be at top salary. I am also applying for teaching seminars over the summer where my flight, lodging, and food would be covered. I am forcing myself. I want to fall apart, but I need to continue. I need to support myself and, I feel, if I had more time on my hands I would perseverance constantly and fall deeper into the depths of despair and guilt. I have been capped out of therapy, just when I am trying to over-come my chronic ptsd. I no longer keep lights on all over the house. I just keep on the hallway light and the bathroom light. I still have a strong startle reflex when I hear a thud...creak...bang...you name it. I miss my brother horribly. I miss everyone. Each night I am alone. I hate it, but I am trying to adjust. I am just so very weary...to the bone weary. I am tired due to lack of sleep, but even in the rare occasion that I have enough sleep, I am still profoundly sad and emotionally tired. My son is still only an hour away. He rotates from town to town, so he must still be homeless. I think of him when it is cold or it rains. I do not know how long his old car will hold out. He still spends very little. He is probably even thinner than he was. My best friend lost her son to leukemia at age 10, after he fought bravely for 4 years. She is still on antidepressants to cope. I cannot take them due to my brain surgery and prior simple partial seizures, where you stay awake. I would have transitory loss of feeling. Funny...'feeling' is in my name. Anyway, my friend says that it never goes away. You just have to carry on. My friend also has a 2 year old darling granddaughter who will need a liver transplant. She said that she never imagined she would be back at a hospital for a child fighting for their life. When I find myself thinking of deprs see in scenarios, I just tell myself, "Not helpful". Copa, I am so very happy for you. You have grown stronger and by being consistent, you are seeing improvements in your son. It is very good news! Copa, my newest trend are peasant tops...very hippie retro. I hope that this post finds people who garner respite from the hard trials that we face daily. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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