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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 709213" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p><u>I as her mother had nothing left to give her.</u></p><p><u></u></p><p>I read this post nearly a month ago and acknowledged its import and wisdom. However right now I am feeling this at an even deeper level. Today, I feel desperately struck, desperately sorry for myself, unable to motivate myself to do all that needs to be done, that which has been neglected for so long.</p><p></p><p><em>I as her mother had nothing left to give her.</em></p><p></p><p>I am that girl. I am motherless now. Maybe on some level I was always. I as her mother...am neglecting myself...feeling I have nothing left to give her.</p><p></p><p>On the most basic level what we come to here is the awareness that we have abandoned ourselves to a large extent. We have given everything and more to our children, and are left with nothing. Not ourselves. Mostly that. We have left ourselves to starve.</p><p></p><p>This has to have been a choice. No matter how powerless to stop it we come to feel--there must be choice in this.</p><p></p><p>I think your whole thread Feeling, is about this. This is your story that you are changing, one day at a time.</p><p></p><p><em>I as her mother had nothing left to give her. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>This is the spot that keeps tripping me up. That I feel helpless to do anything. That I feel helpless to reverse a horror that confronts me. And as long as I stay there, I deplete myself more. Each time I return to this place I attack myself, as failed, as hopelessly damaged and done.</p><p></p><p>But this is the spot where there is the possibility of renewal.</p><p></p><p>This quote reminds me there is choice here. Do we attack the car for running out of gas? Do we demean the baby whose bottle needs milk? Do we rail against the thermostat because it registers too cold or too hot?</p><p></p><p>I am out of gas. I need nourishment. My thermostat is telling me the temperature is too cold. These are not failures, this is information.</p><p></p><p>Where in life did I get the idea that to NEED something is a moral failure? I require attention. My own.</p><p></p><p>I have not before seen with such clarity, wisernow, how I have been failing myself, and how specifically I can do better if I choose.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 709213, member: 18958"] [U]I as her mother had nothing left to give her. [/U] I read this post nearly a month ago and acknowledged its import and wisdom. However right now I am feeling this at an even deeper level. Today, I feel desperately struck, desperately sorry for myself, unable to motivate myself to do all that needs to be done, that which has been neglected for so long. [I]I as her mother had nothing left to give her.[/I] I am that girl. I am motherless now. Maybe on some level I was always. I as her mother...am neglecting myself...feeling I have nothing left to give her. On the most basic level what we come to here is the awareness that we have abandoned ourselves to a large extent. We have given everything and more to our children, and are left with nothing. Not ourselves. Mostly that. We have left ourselves to starve. This has to have been a choice. No matter how powerless to stop it we come to feel--there must be choice in this. I think your whole thread Feeling, is about this. This is your story that you are changing, one day at a time. [I]I as her mother had nothing left to give her. [/I] This is the spot that keeps tripping me up. That I feel helpless to do anything. That I feel helpless to reverse a horror that confronts me. And as long as I stay there, I deplete myself more. Each time I return to this place I attack myself, as failed, as hopelessly damaged and done. But this is the spot where there is the possibility of renewal. This quote reminds me there is choice here. Do we attack the car for running out of gas? Do we demean the baby whose bottle needs milk? Do we rail against the thermostat because it registers too cold or too hot? I am out of gas. I need nourishment. My thermostat is telling me the temperature is too cold. These are not failures, this is information. Where in life did I get the idea that to NEED something is a moral failure? I require attention. My own. I have not before seen with such clarity, wisernow, how I have been failing myself, and how specifically I can do better if I choose. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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