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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 709459" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I do not feel very wise or capable today, but gratefully, I acknowledge you guys who are here, with wisdom and capacity in spades. I love this Feeling. I was a cowgirl. Or on May Day with ribbons streaming. I was among the loveliest of children. My sister stole all of the pictures, my own and my mother's. She probably cut them up in pieces. (I was able to face only lately that what she is trying to do is exorcise me from the family history. Who does she think she is, the Queen? This is painful to believe that somebody<em> I love </em>may want to destroy me.) But hey? What can I do? I exist only in those years in my own memory.</p><p>This is one of the thoughts, Feeling, that you are trying to cut off at the pass. First, we have been through this. You do not know the future. *We barely know the present. I do not even think we know how your son experiences his reality. Yes, he is frightened. But to him the danger comes from outside of him, over which he feels some degree of control. But the thing is, and you know this, your suffering with him will not help him. Just like my own self-destruction does not empower my son. Which is what wisernow here reminds us both:</p><p>This is exactly where I am right now because I only came to this realization this week, that it is morally wrong to willfully and knowingly destroy myself or not save myself. Who knew?</p><p>Thank you wisernow.</p><p>Yes. I get the concept but it takes a while to pivot and then to build up speed. I am right now in a slow turn, like an ocean liner. But at least I know I am making the turn.</p><p></p><p>This concept of a pivot only occurred to me this week, by reading posts. I am uncertain, how and why, which posts finally knocked sense into my head, but I got it, finally.</p><p>I love this, wisernow. Every word so right. Thank you everybody.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 709459, member: 18958"] I do not feel very wise or capable today, but gratefully, I acknowledge you guys who are here, with wisdom and capacity in spades. I love this Feeling. I was a cowgirl. Or on May Day with ribbons streaming. I was among the loveliest of children. My sister stole all of the pictures, my own and my mother's. She probably cut them up in pieces. (I was able to face only lately that what she is trying to do is exorcise me from the family history. Who does she think she is, the Queen? This is painful to believe that somebody[I] I love [/I]may want to destroy me.) But hey? What can I do? I exist only in those years in my own memory. This is one of the thoughts, Feeling, that you are trying to cut off at the pass. First, we have been through this. You do not know the future. *We barely know the present. I do not even think we know how your son experiences his reality. Yes, he is frightened. But to him the danger comes from outside of him, over which he feels some degree of control. But the thing is, and you know this, your suffering with him will not help him. Just like my own self-destruction does not empower my son. Which is what wisernow here reminds us both: This is exactly where I am right now because I only came to this realization this week, that it is morally wrong to willfully and knowingly destroy myself or not save myself. Who knew? Thank you wisernow. Yes. I get the concept but it takes a while to pivot and then to build up speed. I am right now in a slow turn, like an ocean liner. But at least I know I am making the turn. This concept of a pivot only occurred to me this week, by reading posts. I am uncertain, how and why, which posts finally knocked sense into my head, but I got it, finally. I love this, wisernow. Every word so right. Thank you everybody. [/QUOTE]
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