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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 710457" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Thank you Wisernow. That was very well-written. I understand it cognitively, but just not with my heart, yet.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I like your analogy of turning like an ocean liner. But, with column dressing, it is more like a small yaught.</p><p></p><p>I found out today that my middle son stopped going to school and working at his research job. He is homeless again. </p><p></p><p>For the past 3 weeks, he has only texted back 1 or 2 sentences every 7 or 10 days. I went up to Morro Bay to try to meet him over Spring Break. But, he said that he was sorry and he could not drive down from Monterey Bay. I respected his space and spent the 4 days alone. I remembered that the last time I went up there it made matters much worse. I was hoping that he couldn't see me because he was busy with school.</p><p></p><p>He finally got a prescription for antibiotics just about a month ago. He did not give them time. Maybe, he never started. He had just 3 more months to graduation.</p><p></p><p>I texted him almost every day for the last 2 weeks. I feared that he was dead. I feared that he had committed suicide. I cannot tell you how that felt. Then, a week ago, he texted that he was very sorry. Just 1 sentence. I felt like a part of me died inside.</p><p></p><p>Then today, when I texted him, he texted that he stopped going to school and working. He then texted that his phone was dying. Two sentences. </p><p></p><p>I wanted to go up there, but I dont know where he is. He was homeless for 6 months before, but he was working and going to school. Now, I don't know what he is doing. Last time, he mentioned that he wanted to throw his phone away.</p><p></p><p>My youngest techie son put location devices on both of his older brothers' cell phones. My ill son just let it die and never once charged his new phone. But, my middle son likes to hike and take photos, so hopefully he will keep his phone.</p><p></p><p>I am numb. I got into another competitive summer teacher seminar and booked my flight, but now I don't want to go. I don't want to do anything. I can't push myself anymore. I still have to teach. Just about 40 more days. Then, I can fall apart. I am numb inside. I can actually feel myself change. I am withdrawing. I am not broken, but my spirit or will is diminished.</p><p></p><p>I cannot tell you how sad I am.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 710457, member: 19245"] Thank you Wisernow. That was very well-written. I understand it cognitively, but just not with my heart, yet. Copa, I like your analogy of turning like an ocean liner. But, with column dressing, it is more like a small yaught. I found out today that my middle son stopped going to school and working at his research job. He is homeless again. For the past 3 weeks, he has only texted back 1 or 2 sentences every 7 or 10 days. I went up to Morro Bay to try to meet him over Spring Break. But, he said that he was sorry and he could not drive down from Monterey Bay. I respected his space and spent the 4 days alone. I remembered that the last time I went up there it made matters much worse. I was hoping that he couldn't see me because he was busy with school. He finally got a prescription for antibiotics just about a month ago. He did not give them time. Maybe, he never started. He had just 3 more months to graduation. I texted him almost every day for the last 2 weeks. I feared that he was dead. I feared that he had committed suicide. I cannot tell you how that felt. Then, a week ago, he texted that he was very sorry. Just 1 sentence. I felt like a part of me died inside. Then today, when I texted him, he texted that he stopped going to school and working. He then texted that his phone was dying. Two sentences. I wanted to go up there, but I dont know where he is. He was homeless for 6 months before, but he was working and going to school. Now, I don't know what he is doing. Last time, he mentioned that he wanted to throw his phone away. My youngest techie son put location devices on both of his older brothers' cell phones. My ill son just let it die and never once charged his new phone. But, my middle son likes to hike and take photos, so hopefully he will keep his phone. I am numb. I got into another competitive summer teacher seminar and booked my flight, but now I don't want to go. I don't want to do anything. I can't push myself anymore. I still have to teach. Just about 40 more days. Then, I can fall apart. I am numb inside. I can actually feel myself change. I am withdrawing. I am not broken, but my spirit or will is diminished. I cannot tell you how sad I am. [/QUOTE]
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