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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 711083" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Feeling Sad,</p><p></p><p>Copa is trying to get you to reframe how you think about your sons. Homelessness is not an inherently bad thing. Life is a journey. Each one of us has a different journey and there are positives and negatives to all the decisions we make. I agree with Copa that you can think of your middle son as out there finding himself. His life was stressing him too much. He needed to discard everything in order to find his place in the world. I believe he will figure it out. </p><p></p><p>Your oldest son is beyond your help. You did your absolute best to help him. It didn't work. Mental illness is like that. It takes away people that we love and destroys them. We don't have to allow it to destroy us, too. </p><p></p><p>My SO lost his eldest son in a house fire. No one else volunteered to light their house on fire and perish with him. It's terrible: a child dies too young. I try very hard to view mental illness the same way. Some people succumb to it. It's tragic. No one is helped by everyone succumbing to mental illness.</p><p></p><p>I had a friend long ago tell me something very important. She said, "You're a survivor." I hold onto that idea. Friends the other night were horrified when I was telling them about Ferb's suicide attempt. I've had to reframe how I view his life. He may continue on and thrive, or he may nosedive and opt out. Either way, I have to accept there is little I can do to influence his life. I hope he makes good decisions. I want him to make good decisions, but I accept that he may take his own life tomorrow. I will survive it. It will be horrible, but I will survive it. </p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself, Feeling Sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 711083, member: 11832"] Feeling Sad, Copa is trying to get you to reframe how you think about your sons. Homelessness is not an inherently bad thing. Life is a journey. Each one of us has a different journey and there are positives and negatives to all the decisions we make. I agree with Copa that you can think of your middle son as out there finding himself. His life was stressing him too much. He needed to discard everything in order to find his place in the world. I believe he will figure it out. Your oldest son is beyond your help. You did your absolute best to help him. It didn't work. Mental illness is like that. It takes away people that we love and destroys them. We don't have to allow it to destroy us, too. My SO lost his eldest son in a house fire. No one else volunteered to light their house on fire and perish with him. It's terrible: a child dies too young. I try very hard to view mental illness the same way. Some people succumb to it. It's tragic. No one is helped by everyone succumbing to mental illness. I had a friend long ago tell me something very important. She said, "You're a survivor." I hold onto that idea. Friends the other night were horrified when I was telling them about Ferb's suicide attempt. I've had to reframe how I view his life. He may continue on and thrive, or he may nosedive and opt out. Either way, I have to accept there is little I can do to influence his life. I hope he makes good decisions. I want him to make good decisions, but I accept that he may take his own life tomorrow. I will survive it. It will be horrible, but I will survive it. Take care of yourself, Feeling Sad. [/QUOTE]
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