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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 711216" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Ladies. Hi. I am home.</p><p></p><p>Most important, Feeling: where are you? Please check in.</p><p></p><p>My computer keyboard is broken. I cannot write much at all.</p><p></p><p>My trip was amazing. Exactly what I needed and sought. There were harrowing and exhausting moments, and hours, but I am still here.</p><p></p><p>I asked M if I looked tired when I got home. M said I arrived home looking defeated. I can see how that could be.</p><p></p><p>I am wiped out but in the sense of cleansed. It is like all the tears there are to shed have been wrung out of me, like a wash rag. And now I am hung out to dry in the sun. It feels like a turning point.</p><p></p><p>I flew home. I did write my son a long email before I left, recommitting to help him more, if he helps himself, including helping him get treatment for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), a brain injury he ignores except to claim a loss of smell. But I will not allow myself to be battered by him. I will try as best I can to choose myself. I think this is a practice, like piglets and wisernow have been guiding us.</p><p></p><p>Feeling. You are not meant to be sacrificed. These were not your crimes. Your sacrifice of yourself helps nobody. You are a gifted woman who creates good and love in her life. You always have. We all need you. I hope you check in soon.</p><p></p><p>Feeling. I have learned that grief is hallowed ground. We can rise anew from the embers.</p><p></p><p>Oh. I almost forgot to comment on the above quote from piglets. I think that is what I did when I was in bed 3 years after my mother died. I needed to discard everything about my real life. I have only lately been able to see, that during this time I was able to reconnect with myself on a deeper level, claiming parts of me, and a spiritual life from which I have been alienated.</p><p></p><p>When piglets talks about surviving...I do not see her only talking about our physical musculature and skeleton and vital organs. I see her talking about our soul lives. It is very hard to put it into words, but I believe in your work and with your sons you have lived from this place. It is a selflessness that operates independent of conditions or rewards.</p><p></p><p>What both of them are telling us, is that we have, and should have the same capacity for and commitment to selfless devotion to our own spirits and well-being. It is an obligation Feeling. What did Willie Loman say, in Arthur Miller's play? <em>Attention must be paid.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Please check in Feeling.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 711216, member: 18958"] Ladies. Hi. I am home. Most important, Feeling: where are you? Please check in. My computer keyboard is broken. I cannot write much at all. My trip was amazing. Exactly what I needed and sought. There were harrowing and exhausting moments, and hours, but I am still here. I asked M if I looked tired when I got home. M said I arrived home looking defeated. I can see how that could be. I am wiped out but in the sense of cleansed. It is like all the tears there are to shed have been wrung out of me, like a wash rag. And now I am hung out to dry in the sun. It feels like a turning point. I flew home. I did write my son a long email before I left, recommitting to help him more, if he helps himself, including helping him get treatment for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), a brain injury he ignores except to claim a loss of smell. But I will not allow myself to be battered by him. I will try as best I can to choose myself. I think this is a practice, like piglets and wisernow have been guiding us. Feeling. You are not meant to be sacrificed. These were not your crimes. Your sacrifice of yourself helps nobody. You are a gifted woman who creates good and love in her life. You always have. We all need you. I hope you check in soon. Feeling. I have learned that grief is hallowed ground. We can rise anew from the embers. Oh. I almost forgot to comment on the above quote from piglets. I think that is what I did when I was in bed 3 years after my mother died. I needed to discard everything about my real life. I have only lately been able to see, that during this time I was able to reconnect with myself on a deeper level, claiming parts of me, and a spiritual life from which I have been alienated. When piglets talks about surviving...I do not see her only talking about our physical musculature and skeleton and vital organs. I see her talking about our soul lives. It is very hard to put it into words, but I believe in your work and with your sons you have lived from this place. It is a selflessness that operates independent of conditions or rewards. What both of them are telling us, is that we have, and should have the same capacity for and commitment to selfless devotion to our own spirits and well-being. It is an obligation Feeling. What did Willie Loman say, in Arthur Miller's play? [I]Attention must be paid. Please check in Feeling.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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