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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 713461" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Leafy, I am very glad to hear that you have your grandchildren for the summer. They need you. It must be very difficult to hear of their troubled life with your daughter. But, you will know the exact thing to say to bolster their self-esteem and comfort them. You always do.</p><p></p><p>I completely understand that your focus must be on your son. He needs and deserves structure and a 'normal' life. He needs his fair share of attention. Drama has a way of stealing attention away from those that are not causing problems.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry to hear about your knees. Yes, you are in great shape...out their paddling against the waves.</p><p></p><p>We are alike. Helping kids in our careers, yet not able to help our own. It is truly heart-breaking.</p><p></p><p>I think that you are correct about the aching heart. I do not feel it abating. My best friend lost her son at age 10 to leukemia over fifteen years ago. She says that it never goes away. The difference is that our children are still alive. We have the anguish over worrying about their current condition...and feeling helpless.</p><p></p><p>I told her once that I have no closure. She politely told me that I don't want closure. It was stupid of me to say. I just meant that it is ongoing and that I worry all of the time.</p><p></p><p>The 2 year 'anniversary' of the restraining order is on June 15th. I have not seen or heard from him. I have no way of finding him...ever. Even if I could in the future, it might not be safe and it could make him run off to a different state.</p><p></p><p>The only way would be to sleep in a rental car, that he would not suspect, in the parking lot of one of the many 24 Hour Fitness locations that he takes showers at probably in the middle of the night. It could take weeks. But, what would I do if he parked his car? Run up to him in the dark parking lot alone? Try to talk to him, or hand him a letter, or just hug him as he runs to his car and speeds off?</p><p></p><p>I was thinking that they could give him a letter at 24 Hour Fitness when they checked his membership card. They would probably not be willing to do this and don't check the name closely each time. But, there are probably not a lot of people that come in the middle of the night. It would only serve to make him go to a different state. I also would be breaking the law concerning the restraining order. I have 3 more years, but he probably is not aware of this.</p><p></p><p>I have been told that I must not ever see him again, unless it is at a jail or a hospital. It is too unsafe. I hate being afraid of my own son, who I miss with all of my heart.</p><p></p><p>You can't tell that I perseverate... It is a problem with no solution. That is the kicker that eats away at our hearts and minds. No solution.</p><p></p><p>I am eating very healthy foods and exercising to lose weight. I am trying to have my middle son gain weight. I am always hungry and he never is. But, he is doing better. I still worry about him, but feel much better that he is here and on antidepressants. Neither one of us talk about his ill brother. He is not strong enough, right now. He might not ever be.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it helps to talk about it here because I can only talk about it with my best friend.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, you are so right. It is what it is...</p><p></p><p>Enjoy your summer, dear friend. You will be paddling and I will be reading...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 713461, member: 19245"] Leafy, I am very glad to hear that you have your grandchildren for the summer. They need you. It must be very difficult to hear of their troubled life with your daughter. But, you will know the exact thing to say to bolster their self-esteem and comfort them. You always do. I completely understand that your focus must be on your son. He needs and deserves structure and a 'normal' life. He needs his fair share of attention. Drama has a way of stealing attention away from those that are not causing problems. I am sorry to hear about your knees. Yes, you are in great shape...out their paddling against the waves. We are alike. Helping kids in our careers, yet not able to help our own. It is truly heart-breaking. I think that you are correct about the aching heart. I do not feel it abating. My best friend lost her son at age 10 to leukemia over fifteen years ago. She says that it never goes away. The difference is that our children are still alive. We have the anguish over worrying about their current condition...and feeling helpless. I told her once that I have no closure. She politely told me that I don't want closure. It was stupid of me to say. I just meant that it is ongoing and that I worry all of the time. The 2 year 'anniversary' of the restraining order is on June 15th. I have not seen or heard from him. I have no way of finding him...ever. Even if I could in the future, it might not be safe and it could make him run off to a different state. The only way would be to sleep in a rental car, that he would not suspect, in the parking lot of one of the many 24 Hour Fitness locations that he takes showers at probably in the middle of the night. It could take weeks. But, what would I do if he parked his car? Run up to him in the dark parking lot alone? Try to talk to him, or hand him a letter, or just hug him as he runs to his car and speeds off? I was thinking that they could give him a letter at 24 Hour Fitness when they checked his membership card. They would probably not be willing to do this and don't check the name closely each time. But, there are probably not a lot of people that come in the middle of the night. It would only serve to make him go to a different state. I also would be breaking the law concerning the restraining order. I have 3 more years, but he probably is not aware of this. I have been told that I must not ever see him again, unless it is at a jail or a hospital. It is too unsafe. I hate being afraid of my own son, who I miss with all of my heart. You can't tell that I perseverate... It is a problem with no solution. That is the kicker that eats away at our hearts and minds. No solution. I am eating very healthy foods and exercising to lose weight. I am trying to have my middle son gain weight. I am always hungry and he never is. But, he is doing better. I still worry about him, but feel much better that he is here and on antidepressants. Neither one of us talk about his ill brother. He is not strong enough, right now. He might not ever be. Yes, it helps to talk about it here because I can only talk about it with my best friend. Leafy, you are so right. It is what it is... Enjoy your summer, dear friend. You will be paddling and I will be reading... [/QUOTE]
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