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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 725029" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I am so sorry that it has been so long. I have not been doing very well. I was near 2 wildfires and had to be ready to evacuate with things packed by the door for several days, so I have not been sleeping well. </p><p></p><p>I am feeling very sad, hence, my name.. At work, I am doing fine, but when I get home...I am overcome with grief. I ache every day for my ill son. I worry about him and understand that I will probably never see him again.</p><p></p><p>My middle son is doing poorly and I am petrified that he, too, may become schizophrenic. He doesn't like being with people, doesn't want to drive, and keeps repeating nonsensical things that he finds amusing and can't seem to stop. Yes, it could be depression, but I worry that it might be schizophrenia. I feel like I am going to scream when he keeps repeating things. I cannot handle having him act in a way that is not himself. I am petrified. </p><p></p><p>I just want 'normal'...just 'normal'. It seems like we are in slow motion and that I have no control. I already have watched 2 sisters and my eldest son being ravaged by schizophrenia. It is a Hellish disease.</p><p></p><p>I am trying to get him to take 1 class online towards his degree, volunteer, or get a part time job, but to no avail.</p><p></p><p>I am reading about ambiguous grief. That is when you do not have closure, like in a death. But, rather you miss a person because that person is not longer himself or herself due to mental illness, brain trauma, dementia, addiction, etc. They are still alive, but they are no longer themselves. You grieve for the person that they once were and for the lost dreams that you had for them.</p><p></p><p>It also may involve the person still being alive, and yet, you do not know where they are or how they are doing. They are not dead, but you grieve their absence and the uncertainty of ever seeing them again or of them dying through suicide, overdose, or being hurt by others.</p><p></p><p>Most of the parents on this site, sadly, have to deal daily with both of these types of ambiguous grief.</p><p></p><p>My best friend lost her son, my youngest's best friend, to Leukemia at age 10. I unthinkingly told her once that I grieve constantly and have no closure. She calmly replied, "You don't want closure". I still feel thoughtless for saying this to her...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 725029, member: 19245"] I am so sorry that it has been so long. I have not been doing very well. I was near 2 wildfires and had to be ready to evacuate with things packed by the door for several days, so I have not been sleeping well. I am feeling very sad, hence, my name.. At work, I am doing fine, but when I get home...I am overcome with grief. I ache every day for my ill son. I worry about him and understand that I will probably never see him again. My middle son is doing poorly and I am petrified that he, too, may become schizophrenic. He doesn't like being with people, doesn't want to drive, and keeps repeating nonsensical things that he finds amusing and can't seem to stop. Yes, it could be depression, but I worry that it might be schizophrenia. I feel like I am going to scream when he keeps repeating things. I cannot handle having him act in a way that is not himself. I am petrified. I just want 'normal'...just 'normal'. It seems like we are in slow motion and that I have no control. I already have watched 2 sisters and my eldest son being ravaged by schizophrenia. It is a Hellish disease. I am trying to get him to take 1 class online towards his degree, volunteer, or get a part time job, but to no avail. I am reading about ambiguous grief. That is when you do not have closure, like in a death. But, rather you miss a person because that person is not longer himself or herself due to mental illness, brain trauma, dementia, addiction, etc. They are still alive, but they are no longer themselves. You grieve for the person that they once were and for the lost dreams that you had for them. It also may involve the person still being alive, and yet, you do not know where they are or how they are doing. They are not dead, but you grieve their absence and the uncertainty of ever seeing them again or of them dying through suicide, overdose, or being hurt by others. Most of the parents on this site, sadly, have to deal daily with both of these types of ambiguous grief. My best friend lost her son, my youngest's best friend, to Leukemia at age 10. I unthinkingly told her once that I grieve constantly and have no closure. She calmly replied, "You don't want closure". I still feel thoughtless for saying this to her... [/QUOTE]
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