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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 729617" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>It is hard at times Feeling. I try to channel my stoic Dad, his favorite saying was “It is what it is”. He had a quote from Epictetus that Mom sent us after he passed. “Seek not to have things happen as you choose them, but rather choose that they should happen as they do, and you shall live prosperously.” That’s a fancy way of saying “ <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/poop.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":poop:" title="poop :poop:" data-shortname=":poop:" /> happens.”</p><p>In our case and many others here with troubled adult children, we don’t have any control over what they choose. It is hard to separate ourselves from the circumstances of mental illness and addiction. But, I am determined not to go down with despair. I have found much peace in giving it to God and praying he watch over my two and my well children and grands.</p><p>Aw yes, the small things. I try to focus now on the precious time I had raising my kids and the blessings we shared. I hope that they can reflect on that as well. Recovering writes of living with gratitude, and I think that’s a wonderful way to switch things around. Being thankful for the small things helps. It is because those big issues around my two are too much to bare, and out of my control.</p><p></p><p>I have held on to a few things of hubs, his favorite beach towel. I am gleaning over my falling apart photo albums and was surprised at how many duplicates I had, or not so good photos. I couldn’t bring myself to look at them before. Now, I am feeling a bit stronger. So many wonderful memories. How did the years go by so quickly?</p><p> Unfortunately, this is true. I am a “trigger” for my two as well, Feeling. I am painfully aware that I am an “opportunity” for them. Not to get better, but to remain as is. That’s no good for them, or me.</p><p> Me too. I think it is okay to relish those memories and find peace in knowing we did the best job we could. They grew up and stuff happened. I think what must be hardest for you is that mental illness is not a choice, in a way, I guess neither is the addiction gene. But, mentally ill can get help and often do. Same for addicts. So here we are Little Bird. Two loving moms with adult kids out there. It is painful, but what can we do? I just keep praying. I have to remind myself that it is <em>enough</em>. That if I am asking in faith, it is enough.</p><p>I am glad you find joy in your work. Now, to try to spread that in to other areas. Are you still exercising Feeling? I find that super important for me.</p><p>You are sweet Feeling, thank you. We can find calm in the storm. It does take work. You are worth it.</p><p> You are faced with so much. I think it would help if your middle son would make an effort to help himself.</p><p>Me too, praying and having faith that God works miracles. We may not see them, but they are happening all around us.</p><p>We have spring break soon. What will you do Feeling? I am going to work in my garden. I hope you are able to take some time for yourself to refresh and relax.</p><p>Much love and hugs to you sis,</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 729617, member: 19522"] It is hard at times Feeling. I try to channel my stoic Dad, his favorite saying was “It is what it is”. He had a quote from Epictetus that Mom sent us after he passed. “Seek not to have things happen as you choose them, but rather choose that they should happen as they do, and you shall live prosperously.” That’s a fancy way of saying “ :poop: happens.” In our case and many others here with troubled adult children, we don’t have any control over what they choose. It is hard to separate ourselves from the circumstances of mental illness and addiction. But, I am determined not to go down with despair. I have found much peace in giving it to God and praying he watch over my two and my well children and grands. Aw yes, the small things. I try to focus now on the precious time I had raising my kids and the blessings we shared. I hope that they can reflect on that as well. Recovering writes of living with gratitude, and I think that’s a wonderful way to switch things around. Being thankful for the small things helps. It is because those big issues around my two are too much to bare, and out of my control. I have held on to a few things of hubs, his favorite beach towel. I am gleaning over my falling apart photo albums and was surprised at how many duplicates I had, or not so good photos. I couldn’t bring myself to look at them before. Now, I am feeling a bit stronger. So many wonderful memories. How did the years go by so quickly? Unfortunately, this is true. I am a “trigger” for my two as well, Feeling. I am painfully aware that I am an “opportunity” for them. Not to get better, but to remain as is. That’s no good for them, or me. Me too. I think it is okay to relish those memories and find peace in knowing we did the best job we could. They grew up and stuff happened. I think what must be hardest for you is that mental illness is not a choice, in a way, I guess neither is the addiction gene. But, mentally ill can get help and often do. Same for addicts. So here we are Little Bird. Two loving moms with adult kids out there. It is painful, but what can we do? I just keep praying. I have to remind myself that it is [I]enough[/I]. That if I am asking in faith, it is enough. I am glad you find joy in your work. Now, to try to spread that in to other areas. Are you still exercising Feeling? I find that super important for me. You are sweet Feeling, thank you. We can find calm in the storm. It does take work. You are worth it. You are faced with so much. I think it would help if your middle son would make an effort to help himself. Me too, praying and having faith that God works miracles. We may not see them, but they are happening all around us. We have spring break soon. What will you do Feeling? I am going to work in my garden. I hope you are able to take some time for yourself to refresh and relax. Much love and hugs to you sis, Leafy [/QUOTE]
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