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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 734580" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I have been on an emotional roller coaster. My middle son went off of his antidepressants. He continues to refuse to see a therapist. He loves his dog, but it has been a year, and he has not gone back to finish his last semester or try to find a job, or even volunteer. He still talks about suicide or wanting to be homeless again. He has a large inheritance from my parents, so he is great financially. He speaks of having my youngest take his beloved husky...so that he may commit suicide or go back to being homeless. His room and bathroom are a mess and he does very little around my house to help.</p><p></p><p>I cannot tell how sad I feel. I am just on autopilot. I have had a very difficult student this year. He is 8 and has just started being seen by a psychiatrist. I found out last week that he wants to kill me and his mother. He actually grabbed a knife and stopped short of breaking the skin on her arm. They have locked up all of the knives at home. I have to watch out for sharp pencils and, as always, only use rounded scissors. His mother is in denial. All day he is disruptive and defiant. My other students are wonderful. One of my past paraeducators was stabbed with a pencil in another class. Then I come home and have my middle son perseverating about nonsensical things and never doing anything. I cannot handle any more craziness. I have had to deal with it for over 50 years. I just want normal. Just normal.</p><p></p><p>He wants me to kick him out. Yes, I know that I am repeating history. But, he wants to kill himself. How could I experience any peace by kicking him out? He wants to be homeless or kill himself. I cannot kick him out because I feel like it will be my breaking point. I have never met my breaking point, but I could not handle it. I am worn out after dealing with family members having mental illness for most of my life. Then, I would have 2 sons that are homeless. I haven't seen my eldest schizophrenic son in 3 years.</p><p></p><p>My heart is breaking. I pray every day that my middle son is not becoming schizophrenic. I haven't felt like dating because I am so depressed since my divorce almost 10 years ago and am profoundly lonely. I rarely see my youngest because he is happy and busy, which is the way it should be. I was accepted and am traveling back east for another teacher seminar. I will stay longer to take in more travel...and be away longer. I am trying to pull myself out of the depths of despair.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that it has been so long. How are you, Leafy and Copa? Do you have any plans for the summer?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 734580, member: 19245"] I have been on an emotional roller coaster. My middle son went off of his antidepressants. He continues to refuse to see a therapist. He loves his dog, but it has been a year, and he has not gone back to finish his last semester or try to find a job, or even volunteer. He still talks about suicide or wanting to be homeless again. He has a large inheritance from my parents, so he is great financially. He speaks of having my youngest take his beloved husky...so that he may commit suicide or go back to being homeless. His room and bathroom are a mess and he does very little around my house to help. I cannot tell how sad I feel. I am just on autopilot. I have had a very difficult student this year. He is 8 and has just started being seen by a psychiatrist. I found out last week that he wants to kill me and his mother. He actually grabbed a knife and stopped short of breaking the skin on her arm. They have locked up all of the knives at home. I have to watch out for sharp pencils and, as always, only use rounded scissors. His mother is in denial. All day he is disruptive and defiant. My other students are wonderful. One of my past paraeducators was stabbed with a pencil in another class. Then I come home and have my middle son perseverating about nonsensical things and never doing anything. I cannot handle any more craziness. I have had to deal with it for over 50 years. I just want normal. Just normal. He wants me to kick him out. Yes, I know that I am repeating history. But, he wants to kill himself. How could I experience any peace by kicking him out? He wants to be homeless or kill himself. I cannot kick him out because I feel like it will be my breaking point. I have never met my breaking point, but I could not handle it. I am worn out after dealing with family members having mental illness for most of my life. Then, I would have 2 sons that are homeless. I haven't seen my eldest schizophrenic son in 3 years. My heart is breaking. I pray every day that my middle son is not becoming schizophrenic. I haven't felt like dating because I am so depressed since my divorce almost 10 years ago and am profoundly lonely. I rarely see my youngest because he is happy and busy, which is the way it should be. I was accepted and am traveling back east for another teacher seminar. I will stay longer to take in more travel...and be away longer. I am trying to pull myself out of the depths of despair. I am sorry that it has been so long. How are you, Leafy and Copa? Do you have any plans for the summer? [/QUOTE]
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