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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 740393" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>For some reason, it posted twice and it was too late to delete it. Thank you, all, for your continued support. Nature, you are right. It is hard to live with alarms and cameras. Yes, I need a break and a time to dezone. I love work, but at times, it is stressful. I worry during all of my down time when I have more time to think. I have become more anxious. When bad things happen, I guess that it makes you feel that more bad things will happen. I feel sadness and helpless during my off times. Copa, you are right. I do feel stronger at work because I can help children become smarter and more self-confident there. At home, my middle son doesn't want my help. Hopefully, it is depression and not early schizophrenia. Before, my eldest ill son didn't want my help. Leafy, I will try your oil. Here's to feeling calmer. I put peppermint lotion on at night and it helps me to relax.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I am very sorry that you are going through this turmoil. You did not do anything wrong. So stop retracing or regretting your actions. Do you remember what you have told me many times in the past? They are the only ones that can control their actions. I read a quote once and it was something like, "They will get better or worse regardless of what you did or didn't do". We are all emotionally battered. You are not in denial. All of us on this site are trying to find a way to carry on after traumatic experiences and extreme grief. We should not ever be hard on ourselves. But, better said than done.</p><p></p><p>Yes, Leafy, I would like to go to Ireland, too. I do not have time to squeeze it in. There are ferries from England to Dublin and from Scotland to Belfast. </p><p></p><p>The first one on my dad's side came over in 1720 at age 20 from England. He had a doctorate and taught in the colonies to pay for his passage as a voluntary servant. I am related to Queen Anne, Queen Mary II, and William the Conqueror. I also have Scottish royalty in me. I have often wondered if the mental illness in my family came from royal inbreeding. </p><p></p><p>My schizophrenic son has mild hemophilia, which runs in royal families. He has never had it rechecked. It was discovered when he took his senior trip. He had to stop surfing and roller hockey. At first, when he stayed in his room, I thought that he was depressed, but it was the beginning of schizophrenia.</p><p></p><p>I love history and architecture. I had a great time on my teacher seminars. Leafy, which route is shorter for you if you flew to Ireland? My youngest is going to Japan with friends while I am gone.... My sons are half Japanese. We will be on opposite sides of the world. </p><p></p><p>Life is short. I am pushing myself, but I am glad that I did. My ill son, back before his illness, was the sweetest child. He had the kindest nature. If he was in his right mind now, he would want me to be happy. I find it difficult not to feel guilty when I am happy because he is in the prison of his tortured mind. I hope that he has moments of insight and knows that his family loves him. I am afraid of him and miss him terribly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 740393, member: 19245"] For some reason, it posted twice and it was too late to delete it. Thank you, all, for your continued support. Nature, you are right. It is hard to live with alarms and cameras. Yes, I need a break and a time to dezone. I love work, but at times, it is stressful. I worry during all of my down time when I have more time to think. I have become more anxious. When bad things happen, I guess that it makes you feel that more bad things will happen. I feel sadness and helpless during my off times. Copa, you are right. I do feel stronger at work because I can help children become smarter and more self-confident there. At home, my middle son doesn't want my help. Hopefully, it is depression and not early schizophrenia. Before, my eldest ill son didn't want my help. Leafy, I will try your oil. Here's to feeling calmer. I put peppermint lotion on at night and it helps me to relax. Copa, I am very sorry that you are going through this turmoil. You did not do anything wrong. So stop retracing or regretting your actions. Do you remember what you have told me many times in the past? They are the only ones that can control their actions. I read a quote once and it was something like, "They will get better or worse regardless of what you did or didn't do". We are all emotionally battered. You are not in denial. All of us on this site are trying to find a way to carry on after traumatic experiences and extreme grief. We should not ever be hard on ourselves. But, better said than done. Yes, Leafy, I would like to go to Ireland, too. I do not have time to squeeze it in. There are ferries from England to Dublin and from Scotland to Belfast. The first one on my dad's side came over in 1720 at age 20 from England. He had a doctorate and taught in the colonies to pay for his passage as a voluntary servant. I am related to Queen Anne, Queen Mary II, and William the Conqueror. I also have Scottish royalty in me. I have often wondered if the mental illness in my family came from royal inbreeding. My schizophrenic son has mild hemophilia, which runs in royal families. He has never had it rechecked. It was discovered when he took his senior trip. He had to stop surfing and roller hockey. At first, when he stayed in his room, I thought that he was depressed, but it was the beginning of schizophrenia. I love history and architecture. I had a great time on my teacher seminars. Leafy, which route is shorter for you if you flew to Ireland? My youngest is going to Japan with friends while I am gone.... My sons are half Japanese. We will be on opposite sides of the world. Life is short. I am pushing myself, but I am glad that I did. My ill son, back before his illness, was the sweetest child. He had the kindest nature. If he was in his right mind now, he would want me to be happy. I find it difficult not to feel guilty when I am happy because he is in the prison of his tortured mind. I hope that he has moments of insight and knows that his family loves him. I am afraid of him and miss him terribly. [/QUOTE]
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