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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 741269" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Feeling.</p><p></p><p>I still keep it in mind but find that a lot of the time I want to do something different, like have sweater and top in one tone, and bottoms in the complimentary shade, kind of. Like aqua/turquoise top and reddish brown bottom. But most of the time lately I am indifferent and wear a uniform, of sorts. </p><p></p><p>I am struggling, Feeling. When I wake up in the morning, I feel I want to die. If the truth be told. Most days I am able to overcome this despair but not always.</p><p></p><p>My son has completely rejected me and wants no contact at all. He did not respond to a birthday text I sent. This despair I feel colors my feeling about my whole life. I scorn myself. All of the love and hope I felt when I adopted my son and raised him, seems to have been a mirage. I truly felt that our love redeemed us, one to the other. Now it feels like a joke. My son seems to have been overcome by his history. And me, by my own.</p><p></p><p>I am beginning a practice of prayer in the morning and I did this today upon arising. It helped. I cried. And it felt like a cleansing.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for asking.</p><p></p><p>Our lives are incredibly hard. While my life has had many, many blessings, at the core of me, I am very sad. Thank you for thinking about me, and asking.</p><p></p><p>I hope you are well. And I hope middle son is doing OKAY. I am sorry it is so hard for us, Feeling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 741269, member: 18958"] Hi Feeling. I still keep it in mind but find that a lot of the time I want to do something different, like have sweater and top in one tone, and bottoms in the complimentary shade, kind of. Like aqua/turquoise top and reddish brown bottom. But most of the time lately I am indifferent and wear a uniform, of sorts. I am struggling, Feeling. When I wake up in the morning, I feel I want to die. If the truth be told. Most days I am able to overcome this despair but not always. My son has completely rejected me and wants no contact at all. He did not respond to a birthday text I sent. This despair I feel colors my feeling about my whole life. I scorn myself. All of the love and hope I felt when I adopted my son and raised him, seems to have been a mirage. I truly felt that our love redeemed us, one to the other. Now it feels like a joke. My son seems to have been overcome by his history. And me, by my own. I am beginning a practice of prayer in the morning and I did this today upon arising. It helped. I cried. And it felt like a cleansing. Thank you for asking. Our lives are incredibly hard. While my life has had many, many blessings, at the core of me, I am very sad. Thank you for thinking about me, and asking. I hope you are well. And I hope middle son is doing OKAY. I am sorry it is so hard for us, Feeling. [/QUOTE]
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