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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 748403" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi all,</p><p>I remember you commenting Copa on my illness in December that it was a signal that I was exhausted. It’s true. Tornado had been calling nightly from jail needling away to come home. When she was released-no word from her, a familiar yet emotionally draining pattern. I had been vacillating between engaging and detaching. My heart arguing that being cut off from family was not helping matters, my head chiding that we had tried to engage before to no avail at great risk to our own health and sanity.</p><p>These recent episodes have opened my eyes ( once again) to the fact that my two <em>are used to street life.</em> I am horror struck by their surroundings, they seem to have accepted it as their norm. Street friends have replaced family, and I suppose it is because these people accept their drug use.</p><p>I have to find my way back to focusing on Sons graduating and entering college. These two at 30 and nearly 40 will live life as they choose, regardless of how it effects themselves, or their family who loves them.</p><p>There needs to be a contract between my heart and head to stop overthinking and fixating on something <em>I just cannot fix. </em>That will be a life time</p><p>work in progress and potential relapse, as recovering enablers name portrays. I cannot let my guard down, lower the shield. That’s kind of exhausting too, being battle ready at all times.</p><p> I can sound off like the unsinkable Molly Brown but the reality is, I can also become the Titanic.</p><p>All of us here have our struggles.</p><p>The thing is what have we control over? Nothing to do with our adult children’s choices, or in Feelings case, your sons mental illness. For every dramatic encounter I have with my two, there are fellow warriors suffering worse than I. It is painful and takes its toll, but I have to get back on my feet. My two wouldn’t bat an eyelash at the hurt I feel. In their present state of mind all that matters is the next high.</p><p>Time for me to switch gears again and focus on living well.</p><p>Thanks Feeling for your post. You are an inspiration sharing your gumption to go travel. I know you have worked hard to lift yourself up. Keep up the good work. You too Copa, you have made some awesome milestones as far as focusing on what you need to do to enjoy the best rest of your life.</p><p>Thank you Tried for your affirmation of what it is like to deal with this, the disdain well adult children feel for the time stolen from them over the struggles of their wayward siblings. It is a multifaceted conundrum.</p><p>Carry on warrior sisters and brothers. Focus on what <em>your</em> future looks like.</p><p>Love and hugs.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 748403, member: 19522"] Hi all, I remember you commenting Copa on my illness in December that it was a signal that I was exhausted. It’s true. Tornado had been calling nightly from jail needling away to come home. When she was released-no word from her, a familiar yet emotionally draining pattern. I had been vacillating between engaging and detaching. My heart arguing that being cut off from family was not helping matters, my head chiding that we had tried to engage before to no avail at great risk to our own health and sanity. These recent episodes have opened my eyes ( once again) to the fact that my two [I]are used to street life.[/I] I am horror struck by their surroundings, they seem to have accepted it as their norm. Street friends have replaced family, and I suppose it is because these people accept their drug use. I have to find my way back to focusing on Sons graduating and entering college. These two at 30 and nearly 40 will live life as they choose, regardless of how it effects themselves, or their family who loves them. There needs to be a contract between my heart and head to stop overthinking and fixating on something [I]I just cannot fix. [/I]That will be a life time work in progress and potential relapse, as recovering enablers name portrays. I cannot let my guard down, lower the shield. That’s kind of exhausting too, being battle ready at all times. I can sound off like the unsinkable Molly Brown but the reality is, I can also become the Titanic. All of us here have our struggles. The thing is what have we control over? Nothing to do with our adult children’s choices, or in Feelings case, your sons mental illness. For every dramatic encounter I have with my two, there are fellow warriors suffering worse than I. It is painful and takes its toll, but I have to get back on my feet. My two wouldn’t bat an eyelash at the hurt I feel. In their present state of mind all that matters is the next high. Time for me to switch gears again and focus on living well. Thanks Feeling for your post. You are an inspiration sharing your gumption to go travel. I know you have worked hard to lift yourself up. Keep up the good work. You too Copa, you have made some awesome milestones as far as focusing on what you need to do to enjoy the best rest of your life. Thank you Tried for your affirmation of what it is like to deal with this, the disdain well adult children feel for the time stolen from them over the struggles of their wayward siblings. It is a multifaceted conundrum. Carry on warrior sisters and brothers. Focus on what [I]your[/I] future looks like. Love and hugs. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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