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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 748459" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>This says a lot, Copa. I suppose it is the same for my two. They have accepted their lifestyles. It has to be that, otherwise they would seek change. Tornado was released yesterday. I have not heard from her for two weeks. She posted on Instagram, “freshout” with a selfie filter with the scales of justice on her cheek. Another hours later, glassy eyed. She blocked me, but not her brother. He saw her post and came down to the park where I coach to make sure I was okay, and to let me know she was out. With the Hope program I believe she has to see her probation officer weekly and submit to random drug tests. Only time will tell what her choices will be.</p><p>I’m sure she feels that I don’t care. I have made a promise to myself that my focus will be on my son. I didn’t go to visit her, or put money in her account.</p><p>Would it have made a difference in how she chooses now? I don’t know.</p><p>Consequences. Drugs and drifting in the wind with like minded people, vs. a conventional life, responsibility, family. I feel like the longer my two are out there living as they do, the more they become accustomed to the degradation.</p><p>Change won’t happen until <em>they</em> want it. That’s the challenge for me, understanding that and letting go of the notion that I could convince them otherwise. I would be lying if I pretended that this is not a daily struggle, that my heart doesn’t wrestle with my head, that the further I go down the road of detachment, the more they delve into their lifestyles, convinced that their family doesn’t care about them. On the other hand, I see hubs cousins, in their 80’s housing their addicted son. He just keeps on using meth, even though he has had a stroke and somehow recovered after a short bout of paralysis. I can’t see myself on that path, either. Watching the chaos up close and personal.</p><p>Either way, the pain of it stings.</p><p>So there it is.</p><p>The challenge set before me is to keep trying to live my best life, despite that ache for my two.</p><p>I’m sorry your son did not call you on Mother’s Day. But, I am glad you spent the afternoon with friends and enjoyed yourself.</p><p>Two and a half more weeks of work, then I have a break. Feeling, what are you doing this summer? I will be working on my garden, paddling and coaching. No traveling for me.</p><p>Hugs</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 748459, member: 19522"] This says a lot, Copa. I suppose it is the same for my two. They have accepted their lifestyles. It has to be that, otherwise they would seek change. Tornado was released yesterday. I have not heard from her for two weeks. She posted on Instagram, “freshout” with a selfie filter with the scales of justice on her cheek. Another hours later, glassy eyed. She blocked me, but not her brother. He saw her post and came down to the park where I coach to make sure I was okay, and to let me know she was out. With the Hope program I believe she has to see her probation officer weekly and submit to random drug tests. Only time will tell what her choices will be. I’m sure she feels that I don’t care. I have made a promise to myself that my focus will be on my son. I didn’t go to visit her, or put money in her account. Would it have made a difference in how she chooses now? I don’t know. Consequences. Drugs and drifting in the wind with like minded people, vs. a conventional life, responsibility, family. I feel like the longer my two are out there living as they do, the more they become accustomed to the degradation. Change won’t happen until [I]they[/I] want it. That’s the challenge for me, understanding that and letting go of the notion that I could convince them otherwise. I would be lying if I pretended that this is not a daily struggle, that my heart doesn’t wrestle with my head, that the further I go down the road of detachment, the more they delve into their lifestyles, convinced that their family doesn’t care about them. On the other hand, I see hubs cousins, in their 80’s housing their addicted son. He just keeps on using meth, even though he has had a stroke and somehow recovered after a short bout of paralysis. I can’t see myself on that path, either. Watching the chaos up close and personal. Either way, the pain of it stings. So there it is. The challenge set before me is to keep trying to live my best life, despite that ache for my two. I’m sorry your son did not call you on Mother’s Day. But, I am glad you spent the afternoon with friends and enjoyed yourself. Two and a half more weeks of work, then I have a break. Feeling, what are you doing this summer? I will be working on my garden, paddling and coaching. No traveling for me. Hugs Leafy [/QUOTE]
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